Page 119

I don’t appreciate the answer.

“My life works,” I say.

“I know it does,” Erica replies.

“My boys are happy,” I say.

“I know,” Erica answers.

“My career is good,” I continue.

“I know that too,” Erica says.

“Then I don’t understand your point,” I reply.

Erica’s voice softens. “My point is that maybe something being risky doesn’t automatically mean it’s wrong for you.”

I go still. For a second, the Kensington file flashes through my mind again.

Not Ross.

Not yet.

Just the file, the assignment and London.

“I’m not afraid of a work trip,” I say.

Erica doesn’t answer immediately, and the silence annoys me more than an argument would.

“I have to go,” I tell her.

“Because the boys are fighting?”

“Because you’re irritating me,” I reply.

“That usually means I’m right,” she says.

“Good night, Erica,” I say.

She laughs. “Good night, Blaire.”

I end the call and stand there for a moment with the phone still in my hand.

Upstairs, Miles starts laughing at something Wells says, and a second later Wells laughs too. I look around the living room at the homework left on the coffee table, the framed drawings on the shelf and the life I have built carefully enough that every part of it fits.

Safe is not a bad word. I refuse to let Erica make it one.

***

The next afternoon, I sit at my desk with Charlotte’s file open in front of me and my calendar pulled up beside it. I’ve spent most of the morning doing exactly what I told Erica I wasn’t afraid to do: looking at the assignment as work.

The scope is manageable. The preliminary archive review can be done in London. The Kensington side can route access through the appropriate collection office rather than through the family estate, and Charlotte’s objective is narrow enough that I don’t need to uproot my entire schedule to take it on.

Two weeks, at most. I’ve already checked the boys’ school calendar, spoken with Hannah about extending a few afternoon hours, and called my mother to make sure she and my father can come over from Illinois for part of the trip. Between them, Hannah and the boys’ normal routine, nothing at home needs to become unstable because I leave for a short engagement.

My client calendar is more complicated, but not impossible. Naomi can cover two meetings in person, I can handle another by video, and the rest can be moved without causing problems. On paper, there is no reason to say no. That is what makes the decision harder. I open the flight options again and stare at London.

I don’t know exactly where Ross is these days. The last I heard, he’d been moving between Geneva and New York, while Sebastian had been spending more time in London. That could mean nothing, or it could mean I get through the entire assignment without seeing Ross once.