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That I don’t want her to leave.

That losing her feels like one more thing I can’t survive right now.

But the weight of everything waiting for me outside this apartment pushes back in, and I stay silent.

I rub a hand over my face and look away from her because I can feel the conversation slipping somewhere I didn’t intend it to go.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about,” I say.

“I can’t take over the company, deal with the board, stabilize the markets, handle trustees and everything else that’s coming at me, then spend the rest of my time worrying about whether you feel neglected because I missed dinner or forgot flowers or didn’t give you enough quality time.”

The second the words leave my mouth, I know how they sound. Blaire’s face changes anyway. Not dramatically. She does not raise her voice or step back as though I struck her. She just looks at me, and the hurt in her expression makes the room feel smaller.

“Wow,” she says quietly.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s exactly what you said.”

“I know.”

Her arms tighten across her body.

“You just reduced everything between us to flowers and dinner.”

“I’m trying to explain that I won’t have anything left to give.”

“No,” she says. “You’re trying to make what we had sound small enough that walking away from it won’t hurt as much.”

The accuracy of it hits hard enough that I say nothing. Blaire wipes quickly beneath one eye before the tear can fall any farther.

“I never asked you for flowers, Ross,” she says.

“I never asked you to prove anything to me. I was there because I wanted to be there.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

I look at her.

She gives a small shake of her head.

“Because right now, it feels like you’re rewriting the last three months into something shallow so you can convince yourself this is the responsible thing to do.”

“I’m not rewriting anything.”

“Then stop talking like none of it mattered.”

My chest tightens.

“It mattered,” I say.

“Then why are you doing this?”

I force myself to answer even though every instinct in me wants to avoid the question.

“Because it mattered too much.”