Page 51
“Yes, sir?” she answered after a couple of rings.
“You at the pub?”
“Yes. But it’s slow, and there are a few other people on the clock. I can talk if that’s what you need.”
“Nah, I just called to listen to you breathe.”
“See, now that was just unnecessary.”
Sniggering, I got to the point. “A’ight. Jokes aside, there’s something I need your opinion on.”
“Shoot.”
“Ximena came to me a couple of weeks ago talking about some showcase she thinks I should do. I left the convo where it was but she popped up at the store today talking about how this rapper who’s been getting buzz, and the CEO of a label are supposed to be there. So you know her, and my brother are now both pushing the point. Shit was too much, and I ended up snapping a little bit.”
“Why do you feel that it’s too much?”
“The fuck do I look like sitting my ass on a stage, singing with a guitar in hand?”
“Uh, like someone who’s sitting on a stage singing with his guitar in hand. Putting on a hell of a performance at that.”
Thinking it over for a moment, I shook my head. “Nah.”
“Okay, you remember back when you first told me about that landscaping business and I was saying that just because you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean that it’s what you love to do?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s because there was no joy in your tone, a twinkle in your eye, nothing. There was nothing about that conversation that made me feel like that was the endgame for you. But getting to see you play and hearing your voice? Raw and unfiltered? That was the type of love I was looking for. You live and breathe this, Jamie. If I can see it, then I know the people who have known you forever see it as well. Cut them some slack and let them be loud in their support of you.”
“You’re talking a lot of shit for someone who refuses to allow people into her space,” I smiled.
“I let you in my space, didn’t I?”
“And how did that happen, I wonder?”
“I had a terrible lapse in judgment and took care of this random customer one night. Turns out, he was a stalker and has been attached to me since. He’s kind of grown on me, though, and I wonder if this situation was reversed, would he be okay with me diminishing my light?”
“You gonna stop saying a nigga was stalking you.”
“Jamie, focus!”
“I am focusing. On what’s important.”
“Whatever negro. The point still stands. What are you afraid of?”
That seemed to be the question of the century. One I still didn’t have an answer to.
“Shit,” I released a heavy sigh, leaning back in my chair. “I honestly don’t have an answer for you.”
“Well, until you do, we’re always going to end up right back here. Something has to give, honey bun. You can’t keep splitting yourself in half forever.”
“We using pet names now? If so, I’m voting for Luck and Love.”
“See, you’re playing. I’m hanging up.”
Her empty threat brought a smile to my face. “If you were going to hang up on a nigga, you would have done it already.”
“Don’t tempt me, Mr. Luck.”
