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GWEN

You’ve gotta be shitting me.

That’s what the look in Sebastian’s eyes said. Wide, crinkling slightly at the edges. His mouth hung open, then clamped shut a time or two. A moment ago, his shoulders were curled inward. Now they were broader, yet somehow still limp at his sides with disappointment.

“I know,” I said. “Showing up at your door and asking you to help me kill a man is insane. It sounds insane. But it’s not. It’s really not when you think about it. Not when you think about the fact that we were standing over two dead bodies a couple of hours ago. Bodies of people that we killed. But they were bad people. The worst of the worst. David sold Junie once, Sebastian. He sold her. God only knows what happened when those monsters had her. And Jason, he killed Lizzie’s mom. That little girl wants a mom so badly, and she’ll never have one, because of him. Because he couldn’t just let her go. Because he was just like all the others. Just like Evan. It’s the same story. Time and time again, it’s the same God damn story, and I can’t just keep watching it. I can’t ignore what happens to innocent women all around the world every single day just because I’m in a better situation now. Delilah was only eighteen. She was a kid. She was a kid, and she’s dead, because of him. And I⁠—”

“Okay. Okay, hang on.” Sebastian reached out with gentle hands. Placing them on each of my shoulders, sliding up and down my upper arms, he nodded to the sofa. “Let’s sit down, alright?”

My words had come out in one breath, a vice grip wrapped around my lungs as I tried to pull in the next. If I didn’t calm down soon, the darkness that blurred the edges of my vision would swallow me whole.

Sitting wasn’t a bad idea.

I let him lead me to the leather Chesterfield beneath the bay window. That fuzziness faded, and breaths came easier.

Sebastian sat beside me, hazel eyes scanning my face. He moved his hand from my shoulder to the back of my palm. Heat from his touch radiated through my knuckles.

When I began twisting my wrist so our fingers met, he jumped. He started to pull away.

I caught it before he could get far. His wide eyes softened as I threaded my fingers through his.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know that was a mouthful.”

He pulled in a deep breath. Didn’t let it out. He gave a quick, short nod.

But nothing else.

“Say something,” I whispered. “Please. Say something.”

Holding my hand a little tighter, his mouth fell open, and there came that breath he had pulled in. It took a few more heartbeats before words accompanied it. “You want to kill again.”

Why did he have to say it like that? Like I was some bloodthirsty animal.

“I want my friend back.”

His eyes softened.

“But I can’t get her back, because he killed her.” My voice cracked. “I want it to stop. I want to live in a different world. That’s just it though. Wanting something is meaningless if we do nothing to get it.”

“Okay…” Expression still kind, he squinted slightly. “And to make the world a better place, you want to… murder someone.”

“Murdering men the world would be better off without, yeah.”

He opened and shut his mouth a few more times. His squint deepened. “Delilah, whoever hurt her, he’s not even a drop in the ocean, Gwen. There are thousands, maybe millions—hell, billions—of more men like him.”

Of all people, did he think this was news to me?

“Right.”

“Are you going to kill all of them too?”

“If I can get my hands on them, sure.”

He snorted.

“Okay, maybe a bit too ambitious, but you know what I mean.” Shifting to better face him, I lifted one leg under the other. “You’ve been through it. You feel the same way I do about all this.”