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“I would never kill a bystander just because of the risk they pose to our freedom.” Gwen’s lips tugged downward. “We’re on the same page, Sebastian.”
I’d suspected she would say that but hearing it from her own lips eased my skipping heart. “I figured. I just wanted to make sure I laid it out on the table.”
She gave another hint of a smile. “Is that all?”
“Three more,” I said. “Never anything in public. You were lucky with David. You could’ve been completely screwed though. So we have to have a second location. Somewhere else to bring them. I’m gonna get one of those big camper vans for transports too. Better to keep DNA and shit like that out of our daily drivers.”
“Might take some time to find something like that, but I’m alright with it. I never want to be in that position again.”
“Now, this is a big one,” I said. “And it’s not an accusation. I just want to say that first.”
She squinted at me. “Okay?”
“It’s just… I…” A sharp breath cut me off. “If we start enjoying it, we stop.”
“Alright, I get why you opened with the disclaimer,” she muttered. “But shouldn’t be an issue. The only thing I liked about it was knowing that David was gone.”
“I know. And I felt the same way about Jason.” My throat tightened, and I trailed my tongue along my suddenly dry lips. “But I don’t know, you know? If we do this more often, if we normalize it, I don’t know how my brain is gonna regulate. Hopefully it stays the same. How it was with Jason, how it was with David. Procedural. Technical. But my dad liked hurting us.” Gwen started to say something, but I continued before she could. “And I know I’m not him. But I also understand genetics. There is some genetic component to psychopathy, and I know that I’m not. I love, and I care, and I feel. I genuinely don’t know if my dad ever did. But I just… I can’t become him, Gwen. And that’s why I have to ask for you to be the one who does the killing. I’ll handle the bodies. I’ll help with the cleanup and the capture, but I can’t kill. I can’t do it again.”
Frowning, she reached out for my face. She trailed her thumb across it. “I won’t ask you to.”
That shouldn’t have made my cheeks as warm as they became. “Thank you.”
She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Is that all?”
“There’s one more,” I said. “Do you have any before we get to that one?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. There are a lot of things that I’ll probably have to decide as we go. But I am certain about one thing. I won’t kill a woman. Not unless she gives me no other choice.”
“Can’t say I’m surprised by that one.” I snorted a laugh.
Gwen glared. “Why is it funny?”
“It’s just very on point for you.”
“I know how it sounds. But this doesn’t come from a place of misandry. I know that there are really shady women out there, and the world might be better off without them, but I just don’t think I could do it.”
“I couldn’t either, so I’m not judging.” I raised my hands in surrender. “Does that make us sexist though?”
“Hell if I know.” Choking on a laugh of her own, she rubbed her temples. “Historically, almost every man and woman who has been hurt in some traumatic way was hurt by a man. The power dynamic is different. So maybe it’s just our twisted sense of equity?”
Maybe. I didn’t know. But Gwen just eliminated half the population from her kill list, and I wasn’t going to argue over that.
“Speaking of equity. That’s what my last condition is about.” I lifted the backpack onto her lap. “And this is the only one I’m calling more of an ultimatum than a rule. I don’t know if that makes me demanding or unfair, but if you don’t accept this condition, I’m out.”
Squinting, she cocked her head to the side. “And it’s in the bag?”
“It’s in the bag.” I gestured to it. “It’s like you said. About the power dynamic.”
Still squinting, she slowly slid one of the zippers open. With a glance at the wads of cash inside, she huffed and rolled her eyes. “I’m not taking your money, Sebastian.”
“You have to,” I said. “You have to take it, and you have to bury it. Not here, not at the ranch. Somewhere else. Somewhere I don’t know about, somewhere no one knows about. If you don’t, I’m out, Gwen.”
“You’re insane.” She laughed and started to push the bag back into my lap. “What is that, fifty grand? I don’t need—”
“You might.” More like two hundred and fifty, actually. “If we ever get caught, if we ever need to run, if you ever need to run before I can because I get caught or something, or my accounts are frozen, you need insurance.” I placed the bag back in her lap and put my hand over top of it so she couldn’t shove it back at me again. “I’ve got a bag buried too. It’s not fair that I have a way out and you don’t.”
Her eyes softened, but a frown tugged at the edges of her lips.
