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He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Now that I know what you’ve been through, I would. I might not have before—I didn’t think I was anything to you—but…maybe I am?”

“I think so. I’ve never wanted to tell anyone what happened with…” I pause, taking a deep breath. “Fuck, I haven’t said his name in so long. Not since the night he died.”

“Do you want to try now?”

I shrug.

“Maybe it would help. Give you some peace.”

I sit in silence for a minute, considering it until I finally give in and utter the word. “Shawn. His name was Shawn.”

“That’s a nice name. What did he look like?”

“Big brown eyes that looked at everything like it was the first time he ever saw it. He had this air of wonder about him. He was short, only five-five, but his laugh made him the tallest man in the room. His hair was long, past his shoulders, dark brown and wavy. He was raised in a strict Catholic home. His dad put him out when he found out he was gay.”

“Ugh.”

“Yeah, but he took it well. As well as you can, anyway. He made the best of it. He used to tell me he was glad it happened so he could meet me.”

“I know he meant it. You’re amazing. Look how you’ve melted my ice.”

I chuckle. “Look what you’ve done to me. I’m baring my soul.”

“Thank you for telling me about Shawn.” He squeezes my hand. “He was lucky to know you and be loved by you, and I bet he stayed around a lot longer because of it.”

Those words crack the wall around my heart and my eyes actually well up. “You think so?”

“I believe it, but you have to forgive yourself. He didn’t want to leave you, he just couldn’t handle the noise in his head anymore. That doesn’t mean he didn’t love you or that you weren’t enough. Mental illness doesn’t make sense.”

Rubbing my forehead, I nod. “I used to think if we’d met when we were older or younger, maybe I could’ve saved him. Maybe the timing was off, but…” I exhale slowly. “Maybe it happened when it should’ve and I helped ease his pain for a little while.”

“That’s right.”

“I’m glad I told you. I think maybe I needed to.” I cup his face. “Can you stay?”

Blush nods. “I can stay.”

CHAPTER 27

Blush

Morning comes sooner than I’d like.

I open my eyes to a cat on the pillow above my head, and I smile. I roll over, carefully pulling out of Whisper’s arms. The guy is like a damn furnace, but it felt nice being cuddled.

I’m falling for him.

That definitely wasn’t supposed to happen. But we know each other’s secrets now, and that’s not nothing.

After climbing out of bed, I creep quietly to the bathroom, take a piss, wash my hands, and return to find Whisper sitting up slightly, his hair messy from sleep, his eyes still groggy.

“Morning. I should go.”

“Why?” Whisper sits up a little more. “Can you have breakfast?”

“Breakfast?”

“Yes. It’s a meal typically eaten in the morning.”