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How I feel about it is still unknown.

I notice the moment he gets up from the bed, feigning sleep while he goes to the door and answers whoever has just knocked.

I try not to move a muscle while mentally continuing to bury my head in the sand since he and I last spoke.

After he told me my club name, I took the coward’s way out and just went to bed. He didn’t protest, as he rarely ever does, when I got up, shut the blinds, and climbed into bed. He just did what he’s apparently been doing for me for months—taking care of me by locking the bedroom door, double-checking the windows were secure as well, and climbing in after me.

But he didn’t touch me.

I thought he would.

I thought he would roll over onto his side and pull me close, like lovers would sleep. But no.

And don’t ask me why I thought about that far longer than I should before I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion after everything that’s happened since I ran away from the club to fight.

When the door closes, I don’t pretend anymore and sit up. Slowly. I might not look black and blue like I thought I would following that fight, but I feel it.

“Your granddad wants us to join him for dinner.”

“How long do we have?”

“Two hours. Long enough for you to give me some history so I know what we’re walking into,” he says as he sits on the other side of the bed.

I look up at him, and while I might not like how things are going, I can’t deny that I owe him. And though I’m not sure I’m willing to give him parts of me that might yearn for his touch now that I know it would mean more than a one-night stand, I can give him information.

But the memory of his lips against mine, his hands on my skin, pulling me tight to him, lives rent-free in my head. I feel his fingers ghosting against me even now, despite us not touching.

“My mother, as you heard, was gifted to my father.”

“You don’t seem surprised by that.”

I raise a shoulder in a shrug. “Kind of figured. No one spoke about it, but it’s obvious that there’s not much resemblance between me and anyone else in the family. Doesn’t help that my mother wasn’t Japanese either. Her mom, my grandmother, was American or something. I don’t really know. Somehow, she was in Japan, got raped, and my mom was born. Something similar happened to Mom. I was the result of the rape.”

“Your grandfather didn’t say she was raped.”

“Mom tried to teach me how to protect myself from a very young age. It wasn’t much, but she tried. And she always said she only gave herself willingly to one man.”

“Do you think she loved your dad?”

I take a breath and look away. “I think she loved the protection he brought. Or what she thought would protect me.”

“But then you were taken,” he says.

I nod and look back at him. “Yeah. That’s when Mom realized that her married name didn’t get us anything more than a target on our backs. She was killed by friendly fire during a fight the Yakuza had with someone. Or so they say.”

“You think it was something else?”

I shrug. “Who knows? Kind of like the whole Psy thing. Everyone is dead who could tell me something other than what I’ve been told. And if she was killed by the family, I don’t see how being mad about it helps. I have a lot of other reasons to go after them to appease my anger.”

“Like your stepmother and Reina.”

“Yeah. My step-mommy, Michiko, wasn’t kind in any way toward me. If there was a prize for wicked stepmother, she claimed it and wore it proudly. Again, I didn’t care because I thought I would eventually just be free of this place. Then the second kidnapping happened, and it was the Leone family that got me out and not my own. That made me start looking for ways out. I was always going to be connected because of the family name, something that could never be taken from me. But that didn’t mean I had to live by the rules of others. At least by anyone’s but Grandfather’s.”

“That’s why you made the promise.”

“Yes. I knew a marriage was something he eventually wanted, so I played the game and convinced him Benji was the best match. He had the family ties to businesses that Grandfather wanted, but he was also kind. Kind enough to at least acknowledge me when I was in the room.”

“And Reina took that. Took him.”