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No… I should have just gone to bed. I should have tried to hide better. I never should have played this game…
“Hey.” A hand cups my face. “Come back to me.” The voice is deep, laced in soft concern. I allow my eyes to open, a combination of relief and frustration when I see the smoky grays of the man looking down at me. I’m mad. Not at Rhenn, at myself. What’s wrong with me that I can’t even have a man touch me without losing myself? Why does the past cling to me so violently? Will I ever be free…?
“Where’d you go?” Rhenn asks quietly, his full attention on me. He’s watching me like I’m an empty glass that might shatter if he moves too fast. And that’s when I realize he isn’t moving at all anymore. He’s still fully buried inside me, and instead of reaching for release, he’s reaching for me. It’s all too much, and tears prick at my vision.
My mind is a nightmare filled with sharp teeth. It torments me, trying constantly to drag me beneath the waves which promise to end it all. I’m sinking, and no one even knows it.
Wrapping my arms tightly around Rhenn, I lay my head on his shoulder, feeling the pulse beneath his neck and knowing it belongs to him. Thank God it belongs to him.
I’m not there anymore.
Rhenn’s thumbs rub over my sides, and I hear him let out a breath. “One day you’ll tell me all the ways he hurt you, and I’ll fill each of those scars with my own.” He pulls back, forcing me to look at him. “But until then, baby girl, you think only of me. When I’m inside of you or otherwise.” Rhenn rocks his hips, dragging out another moan from across my lips. “Got it?”
How can he say the things he does and feel nothing? How am I supposed to?
I need it to hurt. I need it to mean nothing because this, it’s so much more painful than a knife. Each slow stroke imprinting deeper, every delicate touch like a scorching flame.
“Please,” I beg him, bringing his hand to my throat, willing him to squeeze, to hurt me. He only moves it higher, caressing my face as he meets my mouth. I don’t want to like it as much as I do. I don’t want it to feel the way it does.
An eruption cannonballs inside me, igniting a match which burns hotter than flames. I feel myself tightening around his length, feel my fingers dragging across the hard ridges of his back. These aren’t actions I’m controlling, but ones that he is.
Our combined breath plays like music in my ears. His is so warm, fanning over my cheek as he shifts to look at me again.
Beautiful. That’s all I think while I stare up at him. Raven black hair falls into his face, messy, and just long enough to tangle my fingers through. Parted lips, soft and full. A jawline somehow strong and soft at the same time. And the most intense shade of granite, glossed over with the same drunken lust I know shines through my own eyes. Every piece of him is defined, carved to fit my every secret desire.
It’s perfect. It’s too perfect. Everything about this moment. Which means I have to break it off. Shut it down before my stupid yearning heart gets any ideas.
Nothing is good. It won’t last. Not after we’re finished. Not once he comes back from this incredible high and remembers he hates everything about me.
“Damnit,” Rhenn groans, grinding into me again and again. “You feel so fucking good, Vix.” He lifts my shirt, capturing my nipple between his teeth. My body jolts, relishing the way his tongue laps over the pebbled flesh. I throw my head back, overwhelmed with the exploding sensations from everywhere he’s touching me. I’m spiraling, melting into his body, and I never want to leave.
Yes! Just like that! It’s so incredible. He’s so big. So deep…
Every movement brings me closer to the precipice. He’s working so carefully to bring me there. It starts in my cheeks, a flush that works its way down, causing my stomach to tighten and my knees to shake.
“Rhenn,” I cry his name.
“Fuck, baby.” The sound is carnal, coming from somewhere in the back of his throat. His thrusts quicken, pressing into me with a vigor meant to break me.
It almost does.
I have to bite down on the inside of my cheeks to keep myself grounded.
The noise he makes has me clenching around him again, something between a strangled moan and a low growl. I gasp, digging my nails into his back while every inch of me shatters into a million pieces.
Rhenn’s rocking slows, gradually, until he’s no longer moving, and we’re stuck holding onto each other.
I’m spent, completely unaware of my surroundings. Everything has faded away, leaving behind only him. My darkest light.
Rhenn pulls away, still catching his breath and watching me in a way I don’t quite understand. It isn’t lust or indifference but something else. Something I’ve never seen before.
Something I’m not sure I’m comfortable with.
Butterflies aren’t a sign of longing affection, they’re a warning. This is unfamiliar territory, which means it isn’t safe.
“Do you have any idea how good it feels when you do that?”
There it is again. That damn tantalizing tone. He’s trying to unravel me.
