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A whisper in the back of my mind tells me to swim, to rise to the surface. That I need the air. But I’m finally content. Finally free. And I am sinking.

There’s a knock on the door. It’s so distant I hardly even notice the sound. I’d probably ignore it even if I could move. My body’s too heavy, and my eyes no longer work.

I’m a cloud. Drifting to a better place. I hope I’m happier there. I hope I forget everything from here.

There’s a louder sound. A bang, and then my name. I hear my name again and again. The voice is familiar. It’s safe.

“What the fuck, Sumner? How many of these did you take? Wake up! Please! You have to wake up, Sumner!”

I should have known it would be him who found me—my soul’s other half.

I’m so sorry, Luca. Please forgive me. I just don’t want to hurt anymore…

Footsteps from outside of the dark room pull me back from the memory, and I bring my hands to cover my ears, squeezing my eyes shut even tighter. This is all his fault. He’s the reason I can’t live with myself. He’s the one who broke me.

If I’m quiet enough, maybe he won’t find me. Maybe I’ll be able to breathe without feeling like gasoline is burning inside my lungs.

But he always finds me.

He’s standing outside the door. I feel his presence. Big. Strong. Suffocating.

The door creaks open, spilling light into the room, and I curl into myself, making myself appear small.

Please leave.

“Vix?” The knot inside my stomach tightens and a breath escapes me. That’s not his voice, not his name for me. This voice is smoother, but deep. It holds no intent, at least, not the kind that makes the nausea take hold of my insides. “Are you okay?”

Looking up, it all rushes through me. The delusion of where I am and who’s standing over me. It isn’t the blue eyes from my memory, or the terrifying dark brown ones from my nightmare, but concerned gray ones. Relief mixes with a moment of confusion, and my head starts to spin.

Why am I like this? Why am I stuck in that room?

The weight of it all pours through me, filling up my insides like bags of sand.

I hate that I still have those feelings, the desire to make it all better the way I tried back then. What’s wrong with me? Why is there nothing but rot inside of me?

“Vixen?” Rhenn lowers beside me, shadowing me with his large frame. “You’re shaking. What happened?” His hand falls to my back and a buzz fills my stomach. For the briefest moment, I want to lean into him, to let his touch comfort me. It’s confusing because I mostly feel sick, and there’s nothing about him that’s comforting.

As if he can sense my internal world crumbling, he pulls me closer, trying to get me into the light so he can see me.

“Did something happen at the party?”

There’s a small pang in my chest that he’s actually worried about me, because honestly, no one has ever given a single shit about me—save for one person. My throat tightens, and I look up at him. Then the words “Fucking Dax” leaves his lips, and I’m reminded of one very blatantly obvious fact. Rhenn doesn’t care. He’s not concerned for my well-being. He’s just pissed because I disobeyed him and he’s a controlling dick wad. “If he laid a single finger⁠—”

Rhenn’s lecture is cut short when I shove him off of me, and his eyes narrow.

“No one did anything to me. Go away.” It’s not exactly a lie. At least, not a present tense one.

“Then why do you look like you’re on the verge of tears in a fucking closet?”

“I don’t know. Probably because you’re in here.” I wrap my arms around myself, lowering my head against them. I’m expecting him to leave. To my surprise, and maybe even to his own, he doesn’t move. Chills work their way up my spine while his observing grays stay on me. He sighs, then shuffles himself beside me, propping his head against the wall. I’m hyperaware of how close we are. Our arms press against each other and the warmth radiating from him has me chewing on my bottom lip.

I wish he would just leave me to suffer alone—which I’m sure is why he’s here in the first place. There’s nothing he wants more than a front row seat to my misery. It’s something I’m very aware of. The weird part, though, I don’t want him to leave. Or rather, I don’t want to be alone. And as bizarre as it may sound, I feel safer with him here. He keeps the darkness from my mind. At least, he distracts me from it.

I’m not ready to get up and face the day yet, and he’s clearly not going anywhere either. So I let out a deep breath, and we sit.

“This is my dad’s place,” Rhenn starts, a surprising softness in his tone. “He left it to me after…”

I glance up at him, seeing he’s no longer looking at me, but at his feet.