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“Protection? I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

Snapping my focus back up, I shake my head. “What? No. Rhenn, I’m not trying to have your freaking child.”

He stares at me, expression blank. We hold eye contact, worry pooling inside me. His features slowly shift as he registers my concern, then he tilts his head back, laughing.

“I’m glad you think this is funny.”

“Relax. I couldn’t get you pregnant even if I wanted to.”

“What do you mean? Why not?”

He looks at me like I’ve just asked the world’s dumbest question. “Human, vampire, it doesn’t work like that.”

“You can only have kids with your own order?”

“Not exactly. I mean, most of us choose to link with our own kind. It keeps the bloodline pure. But we could procreate with different orders, if we wanted. You, though”—Rhenn moves closer, placing his hands on my shoulders to push me back as he climbs overtop of me, pinning me down—“you’re just a plain little human. Your body wouldn’t be able to bear my seed.” The corner of his mouth ticks up and I’m lightheaded all over again. “So I can pump you full of my cum as often as I want and never have to worry.”

Rhenn’s palm finds the side of my face, his deep granites staring into my unblinking eyes as he falls a little closer. I’m frozen in the moment, relishing in the warmth of his fingers. They hold me captive, and I want nothing more than to feel them just a little longer. But this is something I’m not ready for. Not sober.

“Rhenn…” I breathe. Faster and faster. I know I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable right now. This is…good. But the negative thoughts that live to devour me creep their way back into my mind. They tie a noose around my windpipe and I’m suddenly suffocating. “I need to go.” I wiggle out from under him, rising to my feet with a swiftness the rest of me wasn’t ready for. A galaxy of stars rushes to my head, making me feel lightheaded and woozy. Dark spots prick at my vision, and I lean back to catch myself on the mattress.

“Easy.” Rhenn moves beside me, placing his palm against the small of my back. “You lost a lot of blood. Probably shouldn’t move too quickly.”

I glance at him, then to the pile of clothes on the floor. When I regain control and the room is no longer spinning, I make my way for them. If I’m going to have another random anxiety attack, I’d rather do it where no one can see.

“You know, if your plan is to run off after sleeping with someone, I think you’re supposed to do it before they wake up.”

Ignoring the comment, I slide my panties up my legs, reaching for his shirt. Rhenn picks it up first, slinging it over his shoulder. “I pegged you as more of a cuddle after sex kind of girl.”

My back tightens. “I’m not an anything kind of girl. This”—I motion between us—“is not something I do.”

Standing in the center of his room, all but fully naked, I’m suddenly feeling far more exposed than I’m comfortable with, and I wrap my arms around my chest.

His eyes flick over me. “You know I’ve seen all of you, right?”

“Look, I’m clearly not as…experienced as you. I’m not even sure how any of this happened, so⁠—”

“Experienced?” Rhenn asks, his brows pinching together. “So, what, you think I just fuck a bunch of girls?”

“Well, yeah.” He was about to screw Siena right outside of a very public event. I think it’s safe to say that lack of give a shit comes from having done it a good number of times.

Rhenn lets out a laugh, crossing his own arms as he shakes his head. “Well, then, it seems I’ve just added another notch to the belt.” He nods toward the door. “I think you were just leaving.”

“I was,” I confirm.

“Then go.”

My chest tightens, but I refuse to let it show. I refuse to let him see any deeper inside of me. No one, not even a man as fucked up as Rhenn, would ever want what’s truly buried beneath my skin. I was broken long before coming here, and there are some wounds that no amount of nurturing can heal. Not when they’re so dirty.

I turn, my footsteps sharp against the floor as a stray tear works its way down my cheek.

No matter how much I wish to believe otherwise, I’m still tangled in pieces of myself I haven’t figured out how to carry.

This only just proves it.

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

RHENN