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My smile widens despite my attempt to stop it, and we shake hands.

As it turns out, I did see him again. I’d agreed to cover a friend’s shift at a casino on the main strip, and there he was, watching me, a smile on his face. When I finished my shift an hour later, he was gone. I sank a few too many drinks with my friends, and as we moved to a dive bar, there he was again. I was drunk out of my mind, sauntered over to him, and said, “So, are we getting married or not?” Then he introduced me to Xavier and Yale, and the rest is history.

I meet Xavier’s eye, about to tell him this, but his tortured expression stops me. Something familiar wraps around me as he moves close, green eyes filled with pain as he touches my cheek.

Maybe it’s how he’s looking at me, maybe it’s because that’s the first time I’ve really thought about that night in a long time, but he isn’t Xavier to me anymore.

He’s a man in an alleyway who proposed to me.

“It’s not dark anymore,” he whispers, and something inside my chest cracks.

No. This can’t be happening. It can’t have been him. It…

Tears burn my eyes, and I pull in a shuddering breath as our gazes lock. “That … that was you?”

He nods, searching my face. “Zayden went out before us, and by the time Yale and I caught up with him, he’d met you, and you’d clearly hit it off. I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t. You married him three hours later.”

Pressing my palm to my forehead, I turn away and closing my eyes. I was so drunk that night that when Zayden looked confused at my proposal, I figured he was teasing me and wrote it off. I told him the story, and he’d insist it wasn’t him, but I figured it was a running joke, refusing to admit that he proposed first.

Facing Xavier again, I swallow hard. “Does Zayden know?” He shakes his head. “Does Yale?”

“Yes, but only because I was drunk and⁠—”

“And you kept it from me.”

“What would be the point in telling you? You were both happy. You are happy. I decided it was easier to keep you at a distance because I was scared … scared I’d fall for you more than I already had.”

My hand hovers at my mouth. “This isn’t fair. Zayden might never have agreed to this if he’d known.”

Another bitter laugh. “Silence, he knows I have feelings for you.”

“But you just said⁠—”

“He’s my brother. He knows me.” He pauses. “And he knows Yale, too.”

My head is spinning. My heart thuds so strong it’s close to painful. This was easier when I had distance—Yale as my friend, Xavier as an annoying relative. Now everything is … twisted. Distorted.

“We can’t do this again.”

Xavier’s expression drops, and he strides toward me. “Why?”

“Because this was complicated before, but now … it’s a fucking mess! I can’t sleep with you knowing you care about me, Xavier. If I walked away, it could destroy everything.”

He shakes his head, determination in his eyes. “I can handle it.”

“Can you?”

He stares at me, breathing fast. “I’ve dealt with it for nine years, Q.” This isn’t real. It can’t be. Xavier Silver isn’t saying these words to me. But he is, isn’t he? And now he’s moving closer, and I don’t want to hide from him. “I meant what I said in the panic room. Part of you calls out to part of me.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t.”

“Why do you think Zayden allowed this, even though he knew how I felt? Why do you think despite knowing I’ve loved you for nearly ten years that he let me sleep with you?” I turn away from him, unable to face this. Unable to face him. “Because he knows you, too.”

“No.”

“And he knows this can work. All of us. He knows you care about me.”

“I don’t!”