Page 12

Six months have passed since our deal started. I still think about the way Yakov touches me at night and the money he keeps sending to the hospital for my mom. He helps with my classes and makes sure I eat, but I keep thinking about Haven too. We spend more time together now. We talk in the dining hall and take quiet walks along the paths after class. We have not said anything about love, but I like her a lot. She makes me feel normal.

I like Yakov as well, but I know he only wants me for the sex. He does other things for me, yet I refuse to spend my life as his boy toy. I am better than that. So I start avoiding him. When he calls or texts, I don’t answer. I stop going to his flat completely.

Today I sit at our usual table with Haven and Samarah. Samarah talks fast and loud like always. She waves her hands around while she tells us about a new bag she bought. Then she leans in closer and says, “Guys, did you hear that Devil’s Night is coming up again this year? I missed it last year, but we should all go together. I’ve heard so many stories about the masked parties in the old mansion and the big bonfires. It sounds like everyone loses their minds out there. We need to do it this time.”

Haven smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “I don’t know. It sounds pretty wild.”

Samarah laughs. “Come on, Elias. You never do anything fun. You’re always studying or working deliveries. This time you have to come with us.”

I open my mouth to answer her when the big doors at the end of the dining hall swing open. Maksim and his crew walk in. They never eat in the main hall before. They usually stay in their private houses on the other side of campus. But today they come straight inside. Yakov walks right behind them.

He doesn’t sit with his friends. He comes over to our table and drops into the chair right across from me. His dark eyes lock on my face, pinning me. He doesn’t look at Haven. He doesn’t look at Samarah. He stares only at me, as if no one else is in the hall.

My heart pounds in my chest. I have avoided him for a whole month. His texts start nice but turn into long pleas. He leaves flowers outside my dorm door. One night I wake up to the sound of someone trying to open my lock at three in the morning. I know it is him. The way he acts now scares me more than anything.

Samarah doesn’t notice a thing. She keeps talking fast. “Oh, you guys know Yakov, right? He’s in law, and he’s super smart.”

Yakov still doesn’t move his eyes from me. His stare feels heavy, like he wants everyone to see what we have done together for six months. I drop my gaze to my tray and grip my fork tight. My hands shake a little. I try to act calm, but I can feel him watching my every breath.

Haven looks from me to Yakov and back again. Her forehead wrinkles. “Elias, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I say, but my voice comes out tight. “I’m just tired. Finals are coming up, and I need to study.”

Yakov leans forward a little. His voice stays low so only I can hear. “Was I that much of a freak to you?”

I push my chair back fast. The legs scrape loudly against the floor. “I have to go. I need to get to the library for my anatomy notes.”

Haven starts to stand up. “I can walk with you—”

“No,” I cut in. “I need to focus alone. I’ll text you later.”

I grab my bag and walk away fast between the tables. I don’t look back. My heart beats so loud I can hear it in my ears. The cool air outside hits my face when I push through the doors, but I still feel his eyes burning into my back.

Behind me, I hear another chair scrape, followed by the footsteps I’m all too familiar with. I know without turning around that Yakov has stood up and come after me.

Yakov follows me outside. His footsteps stay right behind me the whole way. I turn down a narrow path and stop in a small secluded corner behind the dining hall where the trees block everything, and no one else can see us.

I spin around fast. “Why are you following me? Didn’t I tell you this is over between us?”

Yakov steps closer until his shadow covers me. “Baby, did I do something wrong? Tell me what it is so I can fix it right now.”

“No,” I say. My voice comes out shaky. “I just want to end this.”

He blinks slowly like my words don’t make any sense to him. Then he smiles, soft and gentle, as if I have said something completely different. “You need a little time to think. That’s okay. I understand. You’ve been so stressed with your exams and your mom. I’m so sorry I didn’t think about how stressed you must be; gosh, I’m so inconsiderate. You are right to be mad at me, but you don’t have to shut me out like this. We’re good together. You know we are.”

I press my back harder against the cold stone wall. “I’m serious, Yakov. We’re done. I don’t want this anymore.”

Yakov tilts his head and gives me a chilling smile that sends my hairs on my body rising. “You’re just saying that because you’re scared. But you don’t have to be scared of me. I love you, Elias. My love for you is so genuine I even beat up those bastards that kept trying to touch you during your deliveries. You felt it too. I know you did. Your body tells me every time I touch you.”

My stomach twists. “Stop. Please just stop.”

He moves even closer. Now his chest almost touches mine, and I can smell his cologne mixed with his body's natural scent. “Why don’t you love me? Why are you rejecting me? But then you go back to your bedroom at night, lock the door, and touch yourself. You finger yourself thinking about me, moaning my name like a prayer. Every time I hear that beautiful voice, I lose a piece of my already fucked up sanity.”

My blood runs cold. “What… how did you even know that?”

Yakov reaches out and cups my face with one big hand. His thumb strokes my cheek gently. “Don’t worry, baby. I only know because I care so much about your safety. If I didn’t watch you, I’m sure some brute will come and take advantage of you. I promise, baby, I’m only doing this so you can be safe.”

I can’t breathe. My legs feel like they might give out. Tears sting my eyes. “You’re scaring me. You need to leave me alone.”