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"Once everybody knows where they’re supposed to be, and I’m downstairs again, it’ll be easier," I tell her.

"Do you want me to agree with that?"

"Yes, please. That would be great. You might also have to remind me which team I’m supposed to be cheering for."

She gives me a look.

"I can tell you your sweater’s cute."

"That’s a great start."

She hugs me, and I hold on for a second before stepping back.

"Thanks for sitting with us."

"I’m happy to."

"My dad’s going to complain about Wolf."

"I’m prepared for ‘ol daddy Fairbanks to bring out the scowl on our boy. It’s going to be okay though," she says while rubbing my arm and we walk toward security. "Wolf is a big boy. He can handle it."

I nod. I know she’s right. Wolf can probably handle it. But can I?

I should be rooting for my brother. This is his dream to be playing in the NHL and he’s finally here. I should be wearing his jersey, buying a Blue Devils foam finger, and being the most annoying super fan in that place. I should be… but my heart isn’t in it.

I wore black, like it’s a damn funeral. I hadn’t considered the relevance of my choice in the hoodie I chose until right now.

Beau: You here yet?

I type back while Ellie pulls out her phone and scans both of our tickets for the security guy.

Me: Coming in now.

Beau: See you soon.

I put the phone in my bag.

"He’s excited," I tell her.

"To see you?"

"Yeah."

Ellie’s expression softens. She knows how much I love my brother and my family. She knows that not being ecstatic for this game is killing me.

She slips her arm through mine.

"Come on. Let’s get you inside."

We find Mom and Dad already in their seats. Dad stands to let us past, wearing Beau’s jersey beneath his open jacket.

"There she is."

Mom moves her bag so I can sit beside her. Ellie takes the seat on my other side while Dad points toward the ice.

"Your brother said he’d look for us during warmups."

"I’ll wave."