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I quickly reach around and unclasp my bra, letting the straps fall down my arms, where I pull them off one by one. When I lean back to make some space, my bra falls down between us.
Ansel’s dick twitches beneath me as his eyes soak me in. This is the first time he’s seen me in any kind of naked state, and I feel empowered by the lust in his eyes. My nipples tighten under the intensity of his gaze.
He cups one breast, then the other, before trailing his tongue around my nipple. Then he bites down gently before sucking it into his mouth. A soft gasp leaves my lips as he suckles me. When my fingers dive into his hair, he sucks harder.
His hard cock presses between us, but I want to feel it in my hands, feel it inside me. After I shimmy back a bit, my hands go to his belt.
Ansel pulls away from my breast as if I’ve bitten him, looking up at me with wide eyes. “Wait.” He watches me. “Fuck… wait, we can’t do this.”
“Yes, we can.” My fingers continue to unbuckle his belt.
His hands cover mine. “Not like this, Collins. I don’t want it to be because of what you just found out.”
His words sober me as though I’ve had a glass of ice water splashed in my face. I hurry off of him, covering my breasts with an arm across my chest, the sting of rejection burning.
“Collins.” Ansel rushes off the bed in a flash, cupping my face in his hands. “I want you. You know I do. But not like this. Not tonight.”
Big fat tears roll down my cheeks. I guess I have a second reserve somewhere.
Ansel wipes each one from my cheeks. “Why don’t you lie down?”
I shake my head.
“Please? I think it would do you some good.”
“Will you…” I swallow that lump in my throat that’s more painful than before. “Will you lie with me? I don’t want to be by myself right now.”
He glances behind him at the bed, probably thinking about how this used to be Caleb’s bed, but then he faces me and nods.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“What drawer are your T-shirts in?”
I point at a drawer on the floor, and he walks over, plucks one out, and puts it over my head. I wordlessly push my arms through the holes. Then he slips his hands underneath the hem and slides my leggings down my legs, helping me step out of them. Ansel takes my hand and leads me over to the bed, pulling back the covers for me to get in.
He walks around the end of the bed, pulling his own T-shirt up and over his head, revealing the chiseled perfection underneath.
“If you’re trying to get me to forget about wanting to have sex with you right now, you’re not doing a very good job.” My attempt at lightening the mood falls flat.
Ansel undoes his belt and his navy cargo pants next, sliding them down to leave him in only his black boxer briefs. Then he slides under the covers and shimmies over. Once he’s beside me, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in so my head is on his chest. I wrap one leg over him and settle my hand on his firm pec. Then I sink into the warmth of his skin and the rhythm of his heartbeat. Soon, my eyes drift closed, leaving behind the hellish new reality.
THIRTY-TWO
Ansel
My eyes blink open, and it takes me a moment to remember where I am. The scent of fresh paint lingers in the air, and when I look around, everything from yesterday rushes back—Collins’s call for help, Caleb’s betrayal, and me being minutes from sinking into his widow.
Pushing her away felt nearly impossible, but I won’t take advantage of her like that, no matter how badly I want her.
As I look at her still-sleeping form wrapped around me, mouth slightly parted, I think that this is what it could always be like if we were together. Waking up together, making love or breakfast or both, sharing a bed. But we have a lot to deal with before we can ever make it there.
I can’t believe Caleb was cheating on Collins, let alone was irresponsible enough to get his mistress pregnant by accident. At least, I’m assuming it was an accident. I can’t imagine it was on purpose. Then again, I can’t imagine Caleb ever cheating on Collins to begin with.
Anger builds inside my chest. How could he? How dare he?
As though she can read the energy roiling off me in her sleep, Collins stirs. Eventually she blinks a few times and tilts her head up to meet my gaze.
“Morning.” I dip my face and kiss the top of her head.
