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“I didn’t defeat Alasdair,” I gasp, my fingers trembling as I grip his wrist.
“What do you mean?”
“When he was in your dream. I couldn’t defeat him. He infected my mind with something so small and subtle that I can’t seem to exorcise it. Now I can no longer distinguish the difference between his voice and my own in my head.”
Lucas’ breath catches, his eyes searching me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“We had more important things to deal with.”
Lucas’ irises are nearly gold as he flexes his hands on either side of my head. I gasp, the sweetness of his magic filling the air as the threads weave a web around me. “Don’t waste—”
“Shut up,” he snaps. Lucas’ intensity pins me in place, my heart hammering until his hands finally lower and his rings return to a dull black. “There’s no curse within you.”
“I told you. It’s subtle, a whisper in my mind that feeds off of my thoughts and fears and twists them into reality.”
Lucas growls, “That fucking asshole. I’m going to tear Alasdair apart when I finally get my hands on him.”
A smile twitches my lips. “I assure you, I’ll let you take the first cut if we don’t release Astoria first.”
Then I freeze, heart in my throat. “Even if the statue is at the Archweaver’s estate, I can’t go with you. Not right now. I’m compromised, and I don’t know how deep Alasdair’s influence runs. What if he uses me to hurt you? We cannot risk that. We cannot risk Astoria.”
“You’re right.”
The mist swirls around us, and suddenly I understand why Astoria begged for me to keep Lucas safe. She knew he’d risk everything to go save her. Die in the process and not give a single thought of what that would mean for the rest of us remaining.
I shake my head. “No, Lucas. No. You’ll die if you go alone.”
He withdraws his notebook and scratches something on a page before ripping it out. “I’m not afraid to die, Valen.”
He steps up to me again, our chests nearly touching. He slips the note into my pocket before sliding his hands along my neck to hold me once again. I lean into it like a cat starved for touch, my pain throbbing in my chest in time with my racing heart. Every soft word is like a finality that shakes me to my core. “Those are the coordinates to one of my safehouses. When things settle, I’ll come for you.”
My hands tremble. “Don’t do this.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if I don’t try. Hey—” he wipes my tears with his thumb “—I am not abandoning you. I will come back for you, Valen. I swear. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I am not choosing her over you. I’m just rescuing the one who needs me the most right now.”
Viola’s rotting body pinned above the Archweaver’s throne flashes in my vision, and I have no choice but to face the horrors I’ve been avoiding.
Tears slide down my face, and I whisper my final truth into the space between us. “I’m falling in love with you.”
He sucks in a breath. My raw, ripped-open heart beats painfully as I count the seconds before his lips find mine. It’s so soft, so sweet, and then he’s devouring me. I gasp into the kiss, falling into the whirlwind of his embrace.
He whispers brokenly against my lips, “I am, too.”
I smile, and it makes my face ache after all the pain and misery that my life has become. I slide my hand into his and lace our fingers together.
His forehead presses to mine, and my breath rushes from me in a swoosh. I tighten my hold on his hand and lead the way back to the circle platform, my arm stretching back as I navigate around the specters.
My boots click on the smooth stone when I step up onto the platform. I reach for the chalk stick within my pocket to send us back to the Bauer estate.
Glowing catches my eye, and I freeze. The carved sigils on the platform are already activated.
“Travel.”
I whip around. The hand in mine is a woven outline of golden threads that disappear when the magic surges. I meet Lucas’ gaze from where he stands on the grass, his eyes sad, and roar his name as I’m ripped away from the park and the second lover I’ve failed to keep safe.
CHAPTER 21
BAUER ESTATE, PRESERVATION DOMAIN, ASTRUM FOREST
