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Valen’s desperate whisper slices through me, and his hand presses against the glass over my own. “Don’t break apart, my love. Lucas would be devastated. I would be devastated.”
My fingers drag down the glass. I should never have let him leave my shop believing I loved one more than the other. I had a window of opportunity to set him straight, and I missed it for my own selfish desire to avoid arguing. I thought it would be easier. I was so very wrong. This is so much worse.
“I don’t love Lucas more than I love you. One of you does not outweigh the other in the scales within my heart. I just could never return to the Order.”
A sad, broken laugh shakes him, and he places his other hand over his face to hide it. “Oh, my love. Please try harder to lie to me. I’ve known you for too long.”
My face contorts with my flaring rage. A darkness curls within me, a mist gathering around my feet. I don’t care if he doesn’t believe me. I’ll make him believe me.
I slam my fist against the glass, magic erupting along my form in a shower of sparking flame. “I love you, you arrogant asshole! I’m so completely, totally, unendingly in love with you. Do not think for a fucking moment that I don’t burn for you. That seeing you like this doesn’t rip me apart. If I could claw my way through this divide to get to you, I would, because I will not let you walk away from me. Not this time.” Something darker takes over, and my fingers curl into talons, my voice distorting as my flames dance around me. “I own you, Valentin Bauer. Your body. Your soul. Your heart. They are mine.”
His chest heaves, his eyes wide. A kaleidoscope of light dances along him, and I return to my senses to realize it’s because of me. My flames are no longer simply black and gold. Sheets of lights dance like auroras along the glass, swirling around like smoke to my flames.
I turn back to Valen, and he’s leaning close to the mirror, his other hand flat against it as he beholds my power with such wonder. My hand trembles as I smooth it over his, his arm muscles jumping when our heat touches through the mirror. His Soul Thread dances, a thin silvery blue line in his chest stretching forth. My eyes flutter close, my heart thumping when the smell of the first snowfall in winter washes over me. It blends with my flames, and I’m filled with the heat of warm fires during long winter nights, the crackling of wood, and the softness of the still world beneath the blanket of white. A sweet paradise.
Slowly, I open my eyes for our gazes to connect. Tears flow freely down my face. “I’m so sorry, Valen. I love you so much and have hurt you so deeply.” My lips quiver, and my voice cracks. “I didn’t mean to keep your father a secret. I may hate him, but you don’t deserve his death to be like that. You loved him so much and now he’s gone because of me. You’re hurting because of me. You’re suffering… because of me. Maybe it’s for the best that I’m trapped here.”
Jinx presses her soft warmth against my back to try to draw me into her cocoon of healing comfort, but I don’t lean against her. I keep myself pressed against the mirror and weep. My fingers slide down the glass, the darkness closing in along the mirror’s edge.
A slam has me gasping, my head whipping back to the glass. Valen glares at me, and the glint in his cold eyes is so familiar that a fresh wave of tears shudders through me. I drag my hands back up to press against his and the darkness withdraws.
His voice fills my heart. “Don’t you dare leave me.”
I choke on my sob. “I’m unworthy of you. All I do is cause you pain.”
“I’ll decide if you’re unworthy of me. Yes, you’ve hurt me, but I’ve hurt you as well. If I’ve learned anything from our tasty magician, it’s that it doesn’t have to be that way. I love you, Astoria. No matter how much I should hate you, or how angry and frustrated I am with you, I can’t seem to live this life without you.” His eyes glow. “I don’t want to live this life without you.”
I suck in breath. “I don’t want to either. I’ve missed you so much.”
My fingers ache from how hard I press against the glass. His voice flows through me. “I want to hold you.”
I laugh brokenly and sniffle. “I want to be held by you. Fuck, Valen. How did things get so messed up? Do you think we can heal? Maybe one day forgive each other?”
“I don’t know, but I’d like to try.”
My breath trembles. “I’d like to try, too.”
His face softens, and it’s like he’s returned to me. His forehead presses against the glass and his heat warms me, calming the firestorm around me until it is nothing more than rainbow-hued flames dancing within my floating hair.
“Astoria. My Astoria.”
I shiver, the line along my form thinning to be barely the width of a string. Valen presses his lips against the mirror where my forehead rests, and I lean harder against the divide in hopes of feeling him.
“My love, there’s something very important I must ask you.”
I lift my head to meet his gaze.
“Do you know where your body is?”
I frown. “My body?”
“Antonia’s statue is missing from the park. Lucas believes it’s with your father and has left to try to steal it from his estate, but I have my doubts. I don’t think Alasdair would hide it there.”
My mouth drops, the freshly thinned black line tugging as I gasp, “Lucas went alone?”
Valen nods, and panic has me screaming. Lucas. Oh fuck, Lucas. That crazy, stubborn asshole. I release Valen to scrape my nails along my hair. How can I help him? What can I do?
I turn to Jinx, who is a ball of living fur and much more disturbing now that I’m not being cuddled in her warmth. “Is there a way for me to return to my body to figure out where the statue is?”