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Randa scoffed at the idea of Kahn considering propriety ever.
Mara nodded, completely agreeing with that incredulous sound. “He can be a handful. I’m more interested in you, though. Maybe you’d like someone to speak to about the situation? Someone who knows Kahn and what a jackass he can be?” She grinned, as if that was a joke.
It didn’t feel like a joke. This whole thing felt like a huge disaster.
Dublin, Ireland.
Tijuana, Mexico.
“If you don’t want to talk to me about it, I completely understand. Just, if I could tell you one thing about the Light House?”
Randa didn’t stop her, curious about what she wanted to say.
“The Light House breeds only heroes and villains. I’m sure you’ve heard that before. The phrase gets tossed around a lot, because it’s true. And Kahn is a hero.” Mara lifted a dainty palm. “That doesn’t make him less of a jackass, though. He’s incapable of saying the right thing. Ever. He’s arrogant and grouchy. And overprotective… Gaia, is he overprotective.” She shook her head in exasperation. “Mechanically, he’s a genius, but once he ‘fixes’ something it only works in some new, weird way. That can be annoying.”
Is that what happened to Randa’s TV? She hadn’t been able to watch Antiques Roadshow, because she now got six hundred unfamiliar channels. She couldn’t find PBS.
“The man is basically my big brother. So, I understand all of his flaws.” Mara assured her. “But Kahn is a hero. Not because of his physical strength or his bravery or even his shockingly high IQ… Because of his heart. And he’s lost it since the Fall.”
That was so much like what Julius had said, back at the police station.
“He raised my cousins and me. By himself. And he gave us everything. Our family was his only focus. Since the Fall, he’s had no one to love. Even I was gone. His entire heart was ripped away and it’s made him harsher. He was always harsh, but now he’s close to the edge of Gone Wild.”
“The other Light Phases believe that, too.” Randa admitted.
She understood their concern, especially since she’d felt Kahn’s energy. It had brushed against hers, dark and heavy. Primal. As much as her own powers had lit up at the contact, she’d also sensed the savagery swirling inside of him. The part of her drawn to barbarians didn’t mind the ferocity.
Kahn wouldn’t lose control of it.
“You’ve seen the tattoos on his arm? They’re Light House memorials, for people we’ve lost.” Mara rolled up her sleeve to show the delicate marks on her own forearm. “I’ve been so worried that I’d have to make one for him soon. He’s lost so much, he may not be able to come back.”
“Of course he can come back!” Kahn’s loved ones had apparently been on a deathwatch for him, since the Fall. “He’s the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
“He was half-feral, when I woke up from that coma.” Mara gestured to the door and the man beyond, who’d been brought to his knees and wasn’t sure how to stand back up. “This is an improvement. And this is as far as I can take him, by myself. As much as he loves me, he needs more. He needs to find his heart.”
Randa saw where this was headed.
“You are his heart, now.” Mara insisted. “His family. He’ll give you everything. That kind of devotion can be a little overwhelming. Believe me, I know. It’s a huge responsibility to be someone’s heart, like you’re his. But you will never have to question his loyalty. Or his commitment. Or his love.”
Randa closed her eyes.
“He’s waited hundreds of years to find you. If you give him a chance, you’ll see he’s always on your side. No matter what you do or say, no matter if you’re right or wrong, no matter if there is a horde of monsters charging at you or a hangnail making you cry, Kahn will stand beside you. He will stand in front of you, if need be. And he will fight the world.”
“He’ll fight me, when I try to stop him from following me everywhere.” She already had a stalker. The last thing she needed was another one. Especially one that she didn’t entirely want to avoid.
In fact, if Randa was being completely honest with herself --the way Dr. Ashley was always encouraging her to-- she could admit that she wasn’t upset about the Match. She was just freaked out and scared. Randa considered herself to be a pragmatic person, but the idea of having a real, actual Match was kind of… beguiling.
Even with her history, she knew Matches were special. Every Phase’s most desperate hope. Deep down, didn’t she want someone of her own? Didn’t she want Kahn? She’d been attracted to him from the beginning. Maybe she should just… try? But what if she did try and it blew up in her face?
And it probably would. Her luck was lousy.
Randa pinched the bridge of her nose, her common sense at war with irrational hope. “It’s not my responsibility to fix any man. Not even Kahn.” She stressed, just like she had to Julius. “It’s not healthy to try, either. And probably impossible to accomplish. I can’t make Kahn better. I can’t cure his Gone Wild.”
Mara looked stricken.
“But…” Randa tried to make sense of her own feelings. “I’ll help him find a way to fight it. And so long as he works to heal himself, I’ll offer support.”
Mara brightened. “That’s very fair.” She agreed eagerly.