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“Existing.”

Rue laughs again, and I find myself thinking I like the sound of it. I want to hear it more.

“And then there’s Jensen,” I say. I may as well get it all out while I’m on a downward spiral.

Rue’s laughter stops. “What about him?”

“I don’t fucking know. He had a shower.”

“Is good personal hygiene a turn-on for you?”

I flip him the bird.

“He came out wearing a towel, and has abs and that fucking V thing. And a trail of hair that went from his belly button and below his towel, and so what if I wanted to see beneath his towel? All men have dicks.” I glare at Rue as he sucks his lips into his mouth. “I swear to fucking god if you point out that you have one too, I’m going to stab you. I’m having a crisis and behaving like . . .”

“A woman with eyes.”

I scoff. “That V is not natural.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you have licked mine a few times.”

I grab the fork in front of me, holding it toward him like a weapon, and he smirks.

“Put the weapon down, little nightmare.”

“Can’t you see I’m having a crisis?!”

“A crisis because Jensen has abs?”

“My crisis is that I noticed them, and I think I care about him. I fucking care about him. Do you understand how weird that is?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t care about people.”

He crosses the room, puts two hands on the counter, and leans down, looking me in the eye. “You care about people.”

I shake my head. “Barely.”

“You care about Brawley.”

“He doesn’t count,” I say, turning away, uncomfortable with how vulnerable I feel meeting his eyes.

“You care about your dad and brother.”

“They also don’t count.”

He reaches out and grabs my jaw, making me look back at him. “You care about me.”

I open my mouth but then close it. “Whatever,” I grumble.

“You care about Jensen, and you might want to fuck him.”

My eyes widen. “I didn’t say that.”

Rue lets my jaw go and steps back. “You didn’t have to.”

“But I don’t know what it is with Jensen—I just know I care whether he’s okay. I care whether he eats and that he sleeps well. I care if he looks like someone kicked the shit out of him and that the Jester wants to kill him. Yet I don’t know if I like him like that.”