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He raised his eyebrows as she paused.

‘Even when you weren’t supposed to.’

‘Yes,’ he growled.

Relief washed through her. Such wicked, wondrous relief that he wanted her the way she wanted him—beyond reason.

‘And?’ he prompted harshly.

She hesitated. Unsure of where he was going now.

‘What are your feelings on this, Tilly?’

Chaos and heat coalesced and offered the wildest liberation.

She breathed hard, dragging her courage in, only to discover, in the face of that look in his eyes, it was easy. ‘You’re the only one…’

His pupils dilated.

‘The only one I ever wanted to touch me.’

He stared into her eyes for a long moment, then almost reluctantly looked down her very naked body. And suddenly winced.

‘Fuck it.’ He lifted his hands and paced in a circle in front of her, practically ripping his hair out by the roots as he repeatedly swore.

Tilly flinched. Okay. Not what she’d wanted to hear in response to her admission. They were not on the same page at all and she wanted to die now.

‘I’ve never had unprotected sex in my life,’ he growled. ‘I’m sorry.’

Oh. That was the reason for this freak-out? It wasn’t that he completely regretted it?

‘You haven’t?’ she murmured weakly.

‘I’ve never lost control like that.’ He stopped pacing. Stared at her. Sighed. ‘I’m sorry to have put you at risk. I’ll summon a doctor, get you the morning-after pill or whatever is best, I don’t know.’

Tilly breathed through the whiplash of his mercurial mood, amazed as he flushed harder.

Alex out of control. With her. Alex apologising. To her. She quite liked it.

‘That’s not necessary,’ she said.

He was horrified at the thought of getting her pregnant—not that she took it personally. She didn’t want that either. Maybe she’d consider a family in a decade or so, but more likely not. She didn’t trust that she wouldn’t screw everything up as much as her mum had. So she put him out of his misery. ‘I have a hormone injection every few months to help with painful periods. It’s also a contraceptive.’

He blinked. ‘I’m sorry you struggle with painful periods.’ He huffed out a huge breath. ‘You won’t get anything else either. I usually practise safe sex and I have regular medical checks. I’m sure you’re concerned I’m a disease-ridden man-whore.’

Wow. Alex was in self-flagellation mode. Tilly almost smiled.

‘Actually,’ she said slowly, ‘I was thinking how much I appreciate your experience in this area.’

He stared at her so intensely she had to look down before she lost the power of speech.

‘I think that perhaps I could benefit from more of that experience.’ She studied her nails, then risked a glance at him.

Alex wanted her. She wanted Alex. It was monumentally mad, but the facts were the facts and she wanted to take advantage of them before they changed.

Alex slowly paced back towards her like a panther stalking its prey. ‘Let’s get this very clear, shall we? So there’s no repeating that loss of control. Are you saying you want us to fuck our way through our fake marriage?’

‘Umm…’ She licked her lips, knowing that blunt choice of word was deliberate. ‘Yes?’