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“I’m so fucking sorry,” he starts, his hands cupping my face like they always do. “Camila, I—” He blows out a breath. This is hard for him. But I need to hear him. “I didn’t mean to cause you to break down.”

Don’t I know that. Both of us have been through our own suffering, and I see him. I’m learning to see why he is the way he is, and that’s why he deserves some grace—because I know I would want the same from him. He’s so patient with me, so understanding; it’s only right that I give him the same grace.

“I know I can be a bit much sometimes.” His voice is shaking, and fuck if it doesn’t cause my eyes to start welling. “I need you to know everything I do is for you. For your safety, for your comfort.”

I’m so aware of that.

But I’m just too damaged to accept it.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever truly heal from what Luke did to me…” My hand flies to the scar on my leg, my other hand shaking out invisible nerves as Xander waits patiently for me to continue. I force out a breath. “But I’m willing to try. I need you to be patient with me,” I whisper, grabbing his face in my hands now.

“Anything,” his voice cracks. “Fucking anything for you. You want me to get on my knees and beg? I will do it. You need me to build you a studio using my bare hands? I will fucking do it, Camila.”

I press a kiss on his soft lips. His tongue snakes out and dances with mine.

“Okay,” I whisper. “Let’s go on that walk before it gets dark.”

Sid prances beside us as we walk along the riverbank. The sun is setting over the horizon, casting soft pink hues over the breathtaking landscape. Fresh, woodland air fills our lungs—it feels peaceful for once. Just being able to be ourselves and talk. About everything.

“Look,” I gasp, pointing over the other side of the river where cherry blossoms sit on a small hill. “Do you like cherry blossoms?”

“They’re one of my favourite flowers,” he confesses with a small smile on his lips.

“Mine too. They’re beautiful.”

He swallows. “They were raining down while Dad was being buried.” His voice is thick with emotion, vacant eyes staring out at the blossoms. “As much as I resent him for what he did, I miss him every day. He was my only peace before me and Jac built a life for ourselves. In… spirit, of course.”

My chest tightens, and I wrap my arms around him.

We sway gently to the silence of the woodland and gently flowing river. Breathing each other in. Silently paying homage to who I’m sure was a wonderful father for Xander.

Sid’s dirty pawprints carry into the lodge as Xander flicks on the warm lights.

I take a quick glance at him, suppressing a grin. He sighs, throwing his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s composing himself.

I unwrap my scarf and hang my coat on the hanger next to the glass door.

We spoke more about the cheque. I won’t say we’re in agreement yet. I don’t think I drove my point home about Xander trying to control me. He seems to think he’s doing it to protect me, to make my life easier. But I don’t want it to be easier. I want to work for it. But at the same time, the thought of all those men gawking at me at night doesn’t appeal to me anymore. Is it because of Xander?

Maybe.

Okay, most definitely.

All the things I felt while being on that stage are now the things that only he can make me feel.

Powerful. Seen.

And not just for my body.

And that might be enough for me now.

Xander spins to me, placing a kiss on my head. “Go take a shower, Angel.”

I step downstairs after my steaming shower. Every single muscle in my body is screaming for rest.

A rich aroma fills my nose as I round the corner and see Xander in the kitchen. Shirtless, in black joggers, and cooking. It immediately takes me back to the night of the storm. In the bar. With the charcuterie board.

Sizzling fills the large space, steam from the steak he’s cooking drifting up into the extractor fan. He hums the tune of Stand By Me as it plays from the speakers. Sid sits on the large island in the middle, watching him and probably waiting for his fill of food.