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I can still feel her arms around me. How her thumbs rubbed circles on my skin. How she didn’t pull away when I laid it all out for her about Lacey. And she’s here, which gives me hope she maybe doesn’t find me completely disgusting.

Finally, after what seems like years, she regards me, her eyes flicking to the joint in my fingers before she takes it in hers and inhales, then holds it in before blowing it out in a cloud.

Words are lodged in my throat.

She looks at me again, inhaling the smoke once more. Blue eyes sparkle in the night, eyelashes flicking up at the edges. She’s stunning. She’s stunning and all mine, even if she doesn’t feel it.

We were meant to be together, always, and we will be.

Soon. It will all be over soon.

Lacey was just the first barrier.

Jordie faces away as she hands me back my joint. “I like the moon.” She sighs quietly.

Her voice pulls me back to the ground. Something’s still wrong. She wouldn’t be here otherwise. Hell, she’d keep her door locked. She would definitely not be seeking me out despite what happened last night.

“I know,” I reply hoarsely.

She raises an eyebrow. “How?”

I suppress a smile. “Surely you haven’t forgotten that I know you better than you know yourself.”

Her mouth lifts on one side. “I thought you did.” She blinks, takes the joint again and quickly shoves it into her mouth.

Probably not an appropriate time to be thinking about this, but she looks hot as sin smoking. My joint, no less. But her words bring me back, scratching at my chest.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, taking the joint back when she offers it to me.

“Haven’t we been over this enough times?”

I follow her gaze to the stars twinkling above us.

“Do you think we could ever get to the moon?” Jordie sighs, turning on her side to look at me, the glow of the moon disappearing from her face. I’ve been pretending to look at the stars with her, but I was just admiring her features the whole time.

“If you wanted to be an astronaut.” I snort.

Her lips turn down. “I’m not allowed to be anything but a housewife.”

“Hey.” I lift her chin, then cup her face, thumb rubbing her cheek. “You can do anything you want. I would never tie you down to our house. And if I had to, I’d bring the moon to you instead.”

She chuckles, pressing her lips to mine.

I shake my head, finishing off the herbal euphoria. “You wouldn’t be here if this was to do with me."

She regards me for a second before nodding. “You’re right, I shouldn’t be here.” She pushes off the ledge, but I tangle my hand in her silken hair which causes her to inhale sharply and her eyes to flutter shut before looking at me again.

Her eyes are twinkling with something else tonight that makes my stomach swirl.

“Jordie,” I say gently, hoping this might get her to open up to me. “What did Vivian want?”

For a moment, her lashes twitch and her teeth nibble on the inside of her cheek. She searches my face, as if the answer lies somewhere within it. It’s dark, but I can see the sclera of her baby blues reddening rapidly.

She’ll be high any second if she’s not already.

“Just the usual bullshit.” Her voice is quiet, too quiet.

Small drops of rain start pinching the exposed skin of my torso skin before they quickly pick up speed. It’s then I realise she’s only in shorts and a tank top in the middle of November. Her eyes trail down to my chest, tracing Asher’s linework.