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Susie strides out of the kitchen and sets a heaping plate of greasy nachos on the coffee table in front of us. “Interventions don’t come with snacks.”
Casey is close on her heels, carrying a familiar box of pink Moscato and a stack of pastel-striped Dixie cups. “Or wine!” she chirps as she fills each cup and passes them out.
“But they clearly should,” Rashida adds as she snuggles into her seat with a Dixie cup in one hand and a chip dripping with half-melted cheese in the other. “Now, come on, Kennedy, spill those deets!”
Before I can get a single word out, Lola bursts out laughing. “Did those boneheads really think the way to a girl’s heart was by way of a monster truck rally?”
Nicole obviously beat me to the punch, filling them in on the basics after reading the running commentary I was texting her all day.
“Oh . . .” I snort. “You don’t know the half of it. I was trapped in the nosebleed section of the freaking Thunderdome for three hours. Do you have any idea how hot it is squeezed into those narrow plastic seats with hundreds of sweaty Neanderthals?”
“Ouch!” Susie winces.
“And the whole time we were there, I had to listen to those dunderheads fighting over the only pair of binoculars . . . and which one of them paid for my snacks!”
“Well that explains why you kinda smell like popcorn.” Casey wrinkles her nose. “But uh . . . why do you smell like puke?”
My face goes up in flames as I remember exactly why.
“Freaking Trey got seasick and barfed on her.” Nicole snickers.
The girls let out a collective groan of solidarity.
“So gross,” Casey mutters.
“After scarfing down a whole damn cooler filled with tuna sandwiches and Monsters,” Nicole adds with a little too much glee, as if she’s getting off on my misery.
A shudder runs through me at the memory. “Please don’t remind me.”
Though, it’s not as if I could forget. When Caleb and David weren’t engrossed in either the spectacle below us, the instant replays on the jumbotron, or outdoing each other, they took turns telling me how bad I smelled.
“You know, for a minute there, I actually expected them to start making out right in front of me.”
Rashida pauses with a cheese-laden chip at her lips. “Who?”
“Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber. They spent most of the evening leaning over me to talk to each other. And stealing my popcorn and my drink while they fanboyed over the ridiculous show going on below. Forget about me, I think they might actually be perfect for each other.”
The room gets quiet for a second, and then everyone bursts out laughing.
“Like, seriously.” Lola pries a chip from the cheese glued to the plate. “Why are men so dumb?”
Susie flashes a sympathetic smile and shakes her head. “Complete idiots.”
“But hot as freaking hell idiots!” Rashida barks.
Nicole jumps up and gives Rashida a high five. “So freaking hot!”
Lola raises her Dixie cup in a toast. “To dumb men. For some strange reason, we just can’t seem to quit them.”
“Speak for yourself, cupcake,” Susie snickers. “I’ll stick to women, if it’s all the same to you.”
Casey clears her throat. “What about you, Kennedy? Are you any closer to picking a winner?”
“At this point, I’m not sure I even care anymore.” I blow out a breath. “I’m so over this whole getting laid debacle, I’m considering a lifelong vow of chastity simply so no one gets the satisfaction of popping my cherry.”
“Perpetual virginity? No way.” Lola shifts her weight, tucking her long legs beneath her. “I couldn’t do it. I like sex way too much to give it up.”
“No, I get what Kennedy’s saying.” Casey finishes her wine, then fills her cup again. “Sex can be such a chore sometimes. Do guys even realize how much effort it takes to fake an orgasm?”
