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Fake Southern Fiancé

Page 45

by Brittany Holland

“So, it’s like that…” I suddenly miss my city of eight million plus. It’s easier to stay lost in a crowd.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to warn you. Back to the tour… right next to me is Twisted Tulip, where our flower appointment is. And Picture Perfect, but like I said… booked up, so we’re using Briar. Across the way, Sugar Rush candy shop, which is owned by my friend Zoey’s great-aunt Sarah. She’s something else, but you’ll figure that out for yourself. Oh, and the bakery and deli are down the block. And the dentist is right next to the Frozen Spoon ice cream shop. I know, the irony.”

“What’s your favorite flavor?” I find myself asking, not because it’s a game but because I’m genuinely curious.

“Butter pecan,” she answers without hesitation. “How about you?”

“Pistachio. There is this amazing little Sicilian place near me that has pistachio gelato, the best I’ve had outside of Italy,” I tell her, wishing we could jump a plane and go there right now. The desire to do what she’s doing now—share my world with her—is an overwhelming feeling. And I don’t know what to do about it.

“That sounds delicious. We don’t have anything as fancy as gelato here, but the ice cream is made with locally sourced milk. Oh, that’s Magnolia Park over to the left, our own little Central Park, if you will.” She smiles and continues. “The high school and grade schools are back over that way, just past the fountain. A salon and the nail spa where all the gossip is debated daily.”

“Speaking of gossip.” I notice people staring as we drive by slowly. “I think someone just took our picture.”

“Yep. Probably. Then there is the police station, fire station, City Hall—all your basic small-town staples. That reminds me, we will need to make a trip to City Hall for the marriage license.” She acts like it’s no big deal and grabs her notebook and makes a note.

I swallow and nod. “Don’t want to forget that.”

“Head back this way.” I follow her instruction and turn left down the next block. “Gas station over there, Bagel Bin, doctor’s office—you’ll meet Jayson soon.”

“Who’s Jayson?” I can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. She calls her doctor Jayson?

“He’s Emma’s boyfriend’s brother, the local town doctor. He just took over for the grandfather after their grandfather passed.”

“All right.”

Well, now I feel like a dick.

“Across the water on that side is Sweet Magnolia Bed-and-Breakfast. Unfortunately, they were all booked up, so you’re going to be staying with me… plus, it’s probably easier that way. The closer we stick together, the easier it’s going to be to keep our story straight.”

She’s not wrong, but the closer we stick together, the harder it’s going to be to keep my hands to myself.

“Here is the best and only pizza in town, Home Slice. Don’t go all New Yorker on me, it’s good pizza.” She laughs and carries on with Meet Magnolia Grove in what feels like a speed-dating round.

More patrons walking on the sidewalk stop to watch as we drive by. She lifts her hand to wave like this is a damn parade. It happens with every person we pass. “Is that a normal thing?”

“What waving or being neighborly?” She scoffs. “Bless your heart.”

“I know what that one means.” I laugh out loud. “It’s a sweet Southern fuck-you. Am I right?”

She shrugs.

“All this waving makes me think maybe you’re secretly a celebrity, hiding out in a small town.”

“Well, I am being featured in Blissful Bride. You might have heard of it?”

“Rings a bell,” I tease.

“This is Zoey’s Treasures, which I told you about—my friend’s shop. That brings us to the Mimi’s Gasoline Grove, where you can get the best sweet tea in town. Do not tell my granny I said that!” She points her finger at me. “I will deny it to the death.”

“I take it sweet tea is serious business around here.”

“You have no idea. Back there, Magnolia Mart, the bank, and the pharmacy. The tellers show a little more discretion, but just so you know, anything you buy in the pharmacy is fair game. Hemorrhoid cream, tampons, condoms—” She stops herself, and I look at her to see her face has turned fifty shades of red. “Not that you need hemorrhoid cream… uh, or condoms!” she blurts out, clearly embarrassed. “Or that I do! I mean—well, I do need feminine products. But I order online or hit the next town over. You know what, it’s really not important. TMI. You get the point.” She presses at her temples, massaging nervously.

I chuckle to myself. “Point taken. I appreciate the heads-up.” But maybe I should have brought condoms. Just in case.

No. Not happening.

“Moving right along. That’s the post office—which is actually River Mail. Mattie and Jayson’s uncle Connie run the place. Rumor has it he’s looking to retire, so if you need a job…” Her lips twitch with a smile.