Page 72

I nod against her shoulder. “I can’t believe they would hide this from me,” I tell her. “They weren’t going to tell me, either.”

Yirah sighs, then chews her lip. “Okay. As your friend, my job is to listen. But I am also here to give you my opinion, but only if you want it.”

Trusting her, I reply, “I want it.”

“I understand where you are coming from. You grew up without a family. That must have been lonely,” she whispers.

“It was very lonely,” I agree.

“But let’s look at this from your father’s point of view, okay? He died before you were born. When he found out you were going to die, he checked your karma—which is against the rules by the way—and did everything he could to prevent you from going to Hell. He has been trying to protect you.” I know she’s right but the family I longed for all my life has been right in front of me. Taevian was just going to let me move on without ever telling me.

“Okay, what about Aiden?” I fire back. Taevian may have an excuse for keeping it a secret, but he does not know me as well as Aiden. I’ve shared my deepest and darkest moments with him. He was the one person I thought would understand me.

She bites her lip slightly. “Aiden was probably conflicted on what to do. Director Taevian is not only his boss, but someone he looks up to. He wouldn’t want to betray his trust.”

I scoff. “What about my trust?”

“Honey, everything is not black and white. There are different shades. We all tend to forget that reapers were once humans. We still feel and experience things like humans do. We make mistakes. We get jealous. We have secrets. We aren’t perfect. Aiden is not perfect. Your father is not perfect. No one is. But you have a family right in front of you now. You have a father, you have a man you love, and you have me.”

Bewildered by her statement, I aggressively shake my head. “I do not love Aiden.”

I don’t.

Of course, I have feelings for him. But love? I haven’t known him that long. If I loved him, wouldn’t I be completely certain of it? When I think of all the people I’ve loved in my life, the list comes up short. Richard and I exchanged the words three months into our relationship. I didn’t feel scared. Instead, I was completely calm and rational. Uncaring even. The stability of us being together is what brought me comfort.

When I think of Aiden and the feeling of love, I’m terrified. Just the thought of it has my heart thumping rapidly in my chest.

She stares at me. “I’m going to need you to be serious right now. It’s obvious that you both love each other.”

“I just can’t be with him. I can’t.”

“Ah, I get it. You want to deny what you feel for him because you’re scared of being hurt. You’ve never felt this type of love and you’re afraid to lose it. Don’t get me wrong, I do not know the future. But what’s the other alternative? Being alone forever? Never trying to love?”

Feeling overwhelmed by the truth of her words, I stand abruptly. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m drained from today’s events.”

Yirah stands and places her hands on my shoulder. “At least promise me you’ll talk about this with your father before you go to Heaven?”

I give in. “Fine. I will.”

She pulls me into a tight hug and whispers, “I’m so proud of how much you’ve grown, Joy Joy. You are so special and you are finally figuring it out.” I breathe her in, grateful for the opportunity to experience a true friend. Since I’ve arrived here, she has been nothing but supportive and caring. I hate that we don’t have much time left.

I whisper into her hair, “You are my bestfriend.”

I feel her smile. She leans back to look me in my eyes. “And you are mine too. Which is why I want you to work this out with Director Jackson and Aiden. You love them. Don’t give me that face, Joy Joy. You love your father, and you are in love with Aiden. I see it every time you look at him as if he puts the sun in the sky every morning. What you do not realize is that he looks at you as if you are the reason the universe exists.”

23

SO HELP YOU, REAPER

I saunter into Chris’ office without knocking. He is flipping through some files on his desk. I had a restless night, tormented by thoughts of Aiden, his case, and most importantly—my father. But I can only focus on one problem at a time. When I woke up this morning, I decided it was Aiden’s case. Everything else can wait.

Chris purses his lips. “Good morning, Joyce. To what do I owe the pleasure?” It is never a pleasure to talk to this man. Unfortunately, I need information.

I cross my arms. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew he was my father?”

“I found out right before court. There was no time to talk to you about it.”

I yell, “But you didn’t have to announce it in court!” I take a deep breath, trying to collect myself.