Page 97

This is what love looks like for me.

Being kept. Being owned.

I walk out into the cool night air, and Zevran falls into step beside me, close, but no longer touching me. His eyes frantically searching my profile.

“Cora.” His hand finds the small of my back, unusually light and uncertain. “I’m sorry I ruined your night. Your friends—I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Whatever you want—”

Ruslan hasn’t opened the rear passenger door of the car yet, so I reach out, grab the door handle myself, and pull it open.

I slide inside and pull the heavy door shut behind me with a solid, echoing thud.

Zevran’s voice cuts off instantly on the street outside.

I sink into the plush leather seat and stare straight ahead through the windshield, completely numb.

There is a long, agonizing silence.

By the time I realize that Zevran hasn’t moved from outside my door for over a minute, it’s too late. He moves away, gets into his car, and starts the engine. Demyan and Ruslan get into the front seats of the car I’m in. Demyan shifts into gear and pulls out into the night traffic behind Zevran’s car.

Oh, God.

A sudden wave of horror washes over me. They were all waiting for me to realize I was supposed to be riding up front with Zevran in his car. I didn’t get into this car to make a point or punish him. I got into it simply because it was the vehicle I arrived in. My brain was operating on total shutdown, but to Zevran, standing on that curb… I just slammed the door in his face and refused to sit beside him.

I stare out the tinted window as the blurred lights of the city slide past. Demyan drives in tense silence. Beside him, Ruslan doesn’t say a word.

I press my cold fingers against my lips and force myself to breathe slowly through my nose. I will not cry in front of these men.

We slow to a stop at an intersection for a red light, and directly ahead of us, Zevran’s car idles. His red taillights glow like two harsh, angry coals.

He’s just trying to keep me safe, I tell myself desperately, clutching my bag to my chest. I know his fear is real. The way he loves me is real, even if it felt like he was just smothering the life out of me. This sick feeling in my stomach isn’t him. It’s Troy. It’s old scars, old damage. Zevran isn’t Troy.

I stare at the back of his head through his rear window, and even from here, I can see the tension in his shoulders. He’s heartbroken.

“I cannot keep you safe if you won’t let me.”

The words didn’t come from a place of malice or tyranny. They’d burst out of him from fear of losing me.

The physical distance between our two cars suddenly feels wider than an ocean.

I need to apologize. I need to tell him I know he was scared, and I know the difference between him and the man who hurt me, even when my body forgets.

I have to tell him that I love him. That I trust him with my life. That I’m terrified too—of losing him.

As soon as we pull into the gates of the estate, I’ll run to him. I’ll throw my arms around his neck, tell him everything, and let him wrap those massive, protective arms around me until the world stops spinning. I desperately need to feel his heart beating against mine.

The traffic light flashes green.

Ahead of us, Zevran’s car moves forward into the middle of the intersection.

From the left, a pair of blinding high beams appear. No warning, no horn, no sound of brakes, traveling at an impossible, lethal speed.

Right into Zevran’s car.

A deafening metallic crunch that fills the night. The impact lifts Zevran’s car off its tires, spinning it violently across the asphalt as the driver’s side crumples like aluminum foil.

“Zevran!”

The scream is ripped from my throat.