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His eyes burned with tears.

He breathed in again, deeper this time, as though he could draw it into himself and seal it there, carrying it with him through the days.

Days?Weeks?Months?

The thought made pain twist the knife sharply inside him.

He pressed the fabric to his mouth, to his chest, clutching it with a grip that bordered on desperate.

Will there be anything left of me by the time I find you? he wondered darkly. Will the madness leave anything worth bringing back?

***

The full moon loomed too close for comfort. The ache under his skin already stirred, like insects beneath his skin while his wolf was confused and restless.

He lay back at last, drawing the smock with him, tucking it against his chest as if it were a living thing. As if holding it there might keep the worst of the coming days at bay.

His breathing slowly evened, and sleep came not as rest, but as surrender.

And when it took him, it found him clutching that last forgotten piece of her, as though it might last him long enough to survive until he could see her again.

Chapter 12

The night was a maze of nightmares.

What rest was found was shallow and broken, torn apart by the absence of the familiar warmth and the constant ache beneath his skin. By the time the first pale light bled through the shutters, he was already dressed, dark circles around his eyes, his face drawn and roughened.

If he had taken a moment to look in the mirror, he would have said he had aged overnight, though he was likely to look more or less the same over the next two hundred years.

Maxen found him pacing the main hall, stopping in bouts to stare out into the grey dawn as though willing the world to rearrange itself to the way it was.

"Where did she go?" Blaidd asked without turning.

Maxen stopped beside him. "You should eat."

"I don't think I can keep anything down." Blaidd turned to face him. "Where did Fae go?"

Maxen met his gaze then, grey clashing with intense scarlet. There was no softness in either.

"I can't tell you."

Blaidd's normally impassive expression reflected a myriad of emotions. "Can't or won't? I am her lifemate, and you are my cousin."

"And I am also her sister's lifemate, Blaidd," Maxen replied. "But that is not why I can't tell you. I gave her my word."

Blaidd looked seconds from a full blown challenge.

"I need her back," Blaidd growled, his wolf entering his voice. "You can’t keep her from me. I can't... Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know I was wrong. Even if it is not allowed for even a Highclaw to get between lifemates, I should have stepped in. What were you thinking, Blaidd? Why...why would you do this?"

"What do you mean?" Blaidd asked, but his eyes slid away as the now familiar shame rose in his chest.

"I think you know what I mean. Tell me about the rune on your arm. You know what can happen if this goes before the Moon Warden."

"You don't understand," Blaidd said slowly. "I had no choice."

Maxen growled. "Then make me understand; tell me what don't I understand?"