Page 38

I’m so fucked.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Oakley

It’s been two days since I left Des’s place, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

We didn’t talk, and the first time I saw him was on the football field. He looked across the line of scrimmage and gave me that cocky grin of his, and I shook my head and rolled my eyes while trying not to smile.

And then…then I kicked his ass.

Okay, so maybe that’s exaggerating a little bit. Neither us nor the Inferno played our starters much, not wanting to risk them getting hurt before the regular season. We were each out for limited snaps, but when one of us was on the field, the other was too, and I sure as shit didn’t let Des reach the end zone.

We won ten to seven, and now I’m sitting in the locker room after my shower with my phone in hand, telling myself not to message him.

Keeping it real, it is slightly embarrassing that he turned me down Friday night, even if I understand the reason he did. Hell, I even agree with it, but I showed him my hand, let him see that I still want him, and knowing Des, he will never let me live that down.

Only he hasn’t mentioned it…because he hasn’t texted me either. I’m stuck between being thankful he’s not messaged and annoyed he hasn’t.

Maybe he really said no that night because he really doesn’t want me?

Why do I care so much if he doesn’t?

Not able to hold myself back, I pull up the text he sent with his address, my mind stumbling over what to say.

Jesus, it’s not as if I’m writing a dissertation or something. What in the hell is wrong with me?

I win again, I type out, then hit send before letting myself overthink it.

Desmond: Everyone gets lucky once in a while.

Me: I won water basketball too.

Desmond: Because you cheated!

“What are you smiling at?” Hunter plops down beside me, already dressed, while I’m sitting here in nothing but a towel, distracting myself with Desmond, when I should have a million other things on my mind.

“Nothing.” I turn my phone over. “You and Lucas up to anything tonight?”

“Isla is here with him. I think she’ll probably come over, but that’s about it. You have plans?”

“We’re heading over to Sanaa and Evander’s.” My in-laws were at the game tonight. Is it still okay to call them that? It would feel weird not to, but really, they’re more than that to me. They’ve been my family longer than that.

“Sounds good. Have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stands, and we bump fists before Hunter walks out. I turn my phone back over, and the stupid smile comes back as I read Desmond’s text again.

Me: Because I’m the one who brags between us.

Desmond: Yes. Scroll up for evidence.

Me: Fuck off.

Desmond: How are you doing with everything?

Shit. Well, I didn’t expect him to ask me that, though I guess I should have. Des is the kind of man who wants to make sure other people are okay.

Me: All right. Heading to Sanaa and Evander’s tonight. I pause, thinking for a moment, but then let myself say what’s on my mind. It feels like we’re lying to them.

Though I guess feels like should be replaced with the fact that we are lying to them. Pretending to still be together is a lie.