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“Absolutely,” I reply. Sanaa is seeing her specialist again and asked if I could go with them. It’s something I always would have done, something I’m glad to do now because, no matter what happens, they’re still my family. Will these things be weird when they find out Ree and I aren’t together anymore? I don’t want to think that it will be, but how can it not be different?

It’s pissing me off that I’m all up in my thoughts tonight. I’m not sure why I am, other than maybe the fact that I fucked someone who isn’t Serena today, and while that’s okay, while I’m fucking glad I did and want Des more than I even have the words to describe, it’s still something I have to adjust to.

“Are you okay?” Ree’s brows draw together, her head slightly cocked as she studies me. She knows me better than anyone, knows everything about me, other than my sexuality, and suddenly, I’m hit with a wave of guilt for keeping that from her.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I say, just as Tiana calls from upstairs that she’s ready for us.

Serena and I go up, Tiana in bed waiting, her bonnet on her head. Serena kisses her forehead, then rubs their noses together the way she’s done since Tiana was a baby. “Love you more than anything,” she says.

“Love you more than anything too,” Tiana replies, repeating the phrase I’ve heard a million times between them.

“Love you, baby girl.” I kiss her forehead too, then rub my nose against hers as well.

“Love you, Daddy.” She smiles.

Ree and I walk out of the bedroom together, Serena turning off the light and closing the door behind us. I head straight for my room. I’m not surprised to feel her behind me.

“Something is going on with you tonight.” She keeps her voice low, slipping into my room behind me and closing the door.

There is, and as much as I love Serena, she’s not the one I feel like talking to about it. I want to share it with Des. It’s only been a short time, but I’m used to talking to him already, even when I was doing it anonymously online, but will he understand? Hell, does he even want that from me? Or is that something he just has to deal with because it’s part of the package since he wants to hook up with me?

“Just in my head. I’m worried about tomorrow with Mama.” Maybe I should have told Des about the doctor appointment tomorrow, that I’m not skipping out on our hookup day—I just have something important to take care of.

She sighs, walks over, and sits on the bed beside me. “I know. But all we can do is be there for her and hope for the best.” She knocks her arm into mine. “Thanks for going, by the way. Not every man would do that.”

“Then those men are pieces of shit,” I reply. “She’s family. You’re family. Our separation doesn’t change that.”

“Do you think that will be hard for other people to accept? I’ve been talking to Shon about that.”

I cock a brow at her. “Shon.”

“Shut up. I told you about him.” She gives me a familiar smile, one that I remember her shooting in my direction what feels like a lifetime ago, and now, while I’m seeing it again, I know it’s not about me. “You like this guy.”

“He doesn’t know. I’m not ready to jump into another relationship. I don’t want to confuse Tiana. Plus, we haven’t even put a timeline on when we’re telling people.”

I nod, knowing she’s right. It makes Des pop into my head, though. Just another reason that what we have can’t be anything real. How would I explain jumping into a relationship so quickly? I don’t want to hurt Tiana…Sanaa and Evander, either.

“I think if it’s hard for other people to accept, then they’re not the right people for us. We’re family, and that’s not going to change.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She yawns. “I’m tired. I’m going to hit the sack, unless there’s something you want to talk about? Maybe who you were with tonight…”

I chuckle. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Ree.”

“Sure you don’t.” She stands, kisses my cheek, and walks out, closing the door behind her.

I’m lying in bed for a good thirty minutes before I give up, roll over, and grab my cell off the nightstand. I don’t know why I don’t just text him, what makes me press his name to call him, but two rings later, Des’s deep voice lulls me over the line. “What’s up, Oak? Everything okay?”

“Are you sure I didn’t mess up earlier? Did I do anything wrong?” I wince that those are the first words out of my mouth, but fuck that. It’s what I want to know. I’m too old to play games, and I’m the kind of man who wants to know if I fuck up, so I can do something about it.

Des curses softly. “No. You’re good. I wasn’t lying when I said that earlier. I just got some shit twisted in my head, but that’s not on you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask. Des is always listening to me, always there for me, but I’ve never been there for him in the same way. Maybe that’s because Des has his shit together more than I do. He doesn’t need it, but I want him to know that if he does, I’m here for him.

“Nah, don’t worry about me. I’m okay. Just had a moment. You were good with what we did tonight?”

I smile into the dark room, smile in this way that Des has always been good at making me. “I fucking loved everything we did tonight. I want to do it again.”

“Got you all hung up on my ass. Knew you’d want to hit that all the time,” he says playfully, then sobers. “Still, though, it was the first time you did that with someone else and the first time you did it with a man, so if you’re feeling some things, you don’t need to feel insecure about that.”