Page 46

The pressure bursts and colors explode behind my eyes as my orgasm rips through me like a wildfire. Killian doesn’t still; he savors every second of me falling apart for him, until my body goes limp.

I’m panting when Killian sits up and covers my body with his, but that doesn’t stop me from reaching for his face and pulling it to mine. Our lips meet in a desperate kiss, and I taste myself on his tongue, surprised by how much I like it. I like knowing he was the first person to claim me like that.

He’s still fully dressed, and I’m not okay with that. I tug his T-shirt and he pulls back enough for me to take it off. I turn my attention to his belt next, but Killian is littering kisses over my jaw, and my fingers are shaking too much to be any good. He takes pity on me, and stands up, undoing his own belt with deft fingers. I don’t pretend not to be ogling him as he drops his jeans and his boxer briefs, and I don’t hold back that whispered “fuck” that slips out as I get my first glimpse of him naked. He’s perfect.

I’ve noticed his body before, of course—the strong muscles in his arms, the smooth expanse of his chest, and abs like they were carved from marble—but seeing him like this, mine, is dizzying.

And his cock … Jesus. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a man naked, but never once have I looked at a cock and actually craved it.

“I’d say I’m sorry for staring, but holy shit, Kill,” I whisper, and he chuckles.

“Stare all you want, love. I certainly did,” he replies. He sets something on the nightstand, but I’m too busy looking at him to pay attention to what, then kneels back on the bed, taking his spot between my thighs once more.

I lay my hand flat on his chest, feeling his heart beating fast. “I’ve wanted to touch you here since the night James was sleepwalking and you brought him in,” I admit. “I can’t believe that was only last week. I feel like I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“Worth the wait?” he asks, covering my hand with his.

“So worth the wait.”

Killian smiles, leans over me, and brushes a soft kiss over my lips. His cock presses between us. Not close enough.

“Please,” I murmur against his lips.

He flicks his gaze over my face, his eyes boring into my soul. “Are you sure?”

It’s a weighted question—one that brings me back to reality more than I’d like. But it’s a necessary question, too. We could call this right now and chalk it up to spending the last couple of weeks in such close proximity. If we don’t take it any further, walking away wouldn’t be easy, but it would be easier.

There’s so much at play here, so much at risk. My already rocky relationship with Dom, and the guilt I feel every time I look at Killian and listen to the traitorous part of my brain that wishes it had been him, instead of his dad, that walked into the bar nine years ago. There’s the worry—panic, really—that Killian will walk away and my kids will miss out on getting to know him. That I’ll miss out on getting to know him.

He’s leaving, and it’s going to hurt so much more if we cross this line.

It’s selfish of me to go here. But for once, I think I want to be selfish.

“I’m sure. I want this, Kill. Just once—”

“No, love.” Killian presses his forehead to mine. “Not just once. We’re not going to do that thing where we pretend it’s just one night and we’ll be able to move on. If we’re in this, we’re in this, and if that’s not what you want, that’s okay. But I can’t do this and pretend that I don’t want more, Scar.”

“It is what I want. I’m just … scared. I don’t want this to change—to mess things up.” My voice cracks, and Killian clasps my face.

“Things can change for the better. They’re not going to get messed up.”

“That’s easier said than done,” I point out. “I want this, but I need you to promise me … no matter what happens with us, it’s not going to ruin the relationship you have with the kids. They only just got you, and I’d never forgive myself if I was the reason they lost you.”

“No matter what, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m here for them, for you, for as long as you’ll all have me.”

The breath I draw in does nothing to fill my lungs. He says it with such conviction, such certainty.

And I believe him. Or I want to, badly enough, anyway—even if I know he doesn’t mean he’ll be here literally.

“What if we never let you go?”

He grins against my mouth. “Good,” he murmurs, then captures my lips and I melt into him.

Killian reaches up to my nightstand and grabs his wallet—that must’ve been what he put there earlier. He pulls out a condom, and I snag it from his hand, tearing it open. I wrap my fist around his cock, drawing it up slowly, and Killian’s breathing turns ragged.

“Fuck,” he groans. Every vein and muscle pops out on his arm as I roll the condom over him, his teeth sinking into his lip so hard that it looks painful.

I lean forward and run my tongue along his lower lip, arching my body into him in invitation. He sits back and runs the head of his cock over me. Sparkles appear in my vision when he brushes my clit, and a garble of curses falls from my mouth, sounding an awful lot like begging.