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“Christ. Is everyone still standing?”
I snort. “Just about. Gabi’s husband had to carry her to the car. Oh, before I forget, Piper and Landon have some last-minute Christmas shopping to do in Calgary tomorrow, so they’re going to pick your mom up. I think Ronan’s going to tag along—he said something about shoes.”
Instant relief crosses Killian’s face. “Thank god. I hate driving that road in the snow.”
“You know I don’t mind driving, right?”
“I know. But watching you drive makes me think things I really shouldn’t be thinking when my mom’s in the car,” he answers, his gaze lingering on my lips.
My breath catches in my throat. One year on, and he still makes my heart race on an hourly basis.
“Speaking of parents,” Killian continues, his voice low so the kids won’t overhear. “Did he call you back?”
I shake my head, and Killian sighs.
“I think if he does show up, it’s going to be without a heads-up again,” I say, wishing I was surprised that Dom hasn’t changed, even though he promised he would. “But if he does, he can stay in the old house.” His house. “He’s not staying here.”
“Christ, no. I’d sooner have him sleep in the snow than in here,” Killian grumbles, and though the situation isn’t funny, I can’t help but laugh. We’ve both made peace with not having a relationship with Dom ourselves, but part of me still wishes he would step up for the kids.
He visited once back in April, and it didn’t end well. He still only calls once or twice a week at most, and Caitlin hasn’t asked if he’s coming to see them for Christmas this year. When I asked the kids if they wanted to make him a gift or buy one, for the first time ever they chose to buy something. Then they picked out the most generic scarf in the store, because they don’t know him any better than he knows them.
“If we’re lucky, he’ll just call to wish them a merry Christmas,” I say and a smile teases Killian’s lips.
“Well, lucky’s kind of our thing, love. And we’re going to have an amazing Christmas whether he shows up or not,” he promises, pressing a searing kiss to my forehead. “As long as we’re together.”
We settle in to watch the movie. Well, Killian watches the movie; mostly, I watch the flames dancing in the fireplace. I’ll never get tired of this. Killian’s job in construction is just one of the many perks of being with him. He has a lot of connections, and he insisted on bringing in the best in the area to plan and build this place.
He knows more about this kind of thing than me, so I gave him my mood board and let him do his thing. They planned the whole house around the gorgeous stone fireplace, exactly like the one I glued to my mood board all those years ago. It’s better than I could ever have dreamed: my kids sitting happily on the rug, my man with his arm around me.
Maybe some things never change, but a lot has. And all of it for the better.
Killian and his siblings love it here. The kids are thriving. When James started kindergarten this fall, my boss offered me more hours, with standard shifts Monday through Friday, so I’m always home for dinner. Killian and I have date nights, we make sure the kids get one-on-one time with each of us, and we both make time for ourselves too. Killian’s learning French, and we’re planning a trip to Ireland next summer. Life is really, really good.
Every day isn’t perfect. The kids still have their moments, and I still overdo it from time to time. But now, when I’m worn out and exhausted, I crawl into bed and sleep in Killian’s arms, and the world doesn’t feel quite so overwhelming when I wake up to his lips on my cheek instead of a blaring alarm.
I take his hand under the blanket and focus on the movie. Caitlin must have picked this one—some kind of rom-com I haven’t seen, about a royal wedding. I swear we’ve gone through two dozen Christmas movies already this month, and Killian eats them all up.
He trails a fingertip over the back of my hand, under the blanket, up and down each finger. It lingers on my ring finger. It often does, when he’s touching my hand, or maybe I’ve been imagining it because of what’s been on my mind for months now. Between James starting kindergarten, and building and moving into our home, there hasn’t been a good time to bring it up. But here, snuggled up by the fire, with the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner, and a Christmas movie on TV … This moment is so reminiscent of the moment when things changed between us last year. The moment immortalized on our Christmas tree in last year’s Polaroid: Killian and I looking at each other like we were in love, before we had any idea.
If this isn’t the perfect moment, I don’t know what is.
“Kill.”
“Scar.”
I take a deep breath and turn my head to look him in the eye. “I love you. And I changed my mind.”
He sucks in a breath. “Just like that?”
“Just like that,” I confirm, and he lights up brighter than any Christmas lights I’ve ever seen.
“Well, it looks like I’ve got some planning to do.” I know he would have been okay if I’d never changed my mind, but he looks so damn happy that I have.
The thought of tying myself to someone for life after Dom used to terrify me, but now, I can’t imagine Killian not being there for the rest of my life. We don’t need a piece of paper to be happy and in love, but I want one. I want my dad walking me down the aisle, Landon trying and failing not to cry as Killian and I say our vows, Caitlin and Piper as my co-maids of honor, James and Killian in matching suits. I want to stand up in front of the town that looked after me, even when I tried to stop them, and show them all how lucky I am to have Killian in my life.
I want to keep making him smile like he is right now, every day, until we’re old and gray.
“You know you have to get permission before you ask me, right?” I’m definitely not imagining the way he’s stroking my ring finger, now.
“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of asking without.”
“Good.”
He’s grinning from ear to ear when he turns to Caitlin and James.
“Hey, kids. Would it be okay if I asked your mom to marry me?”