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Book Girl:
She should give him a chance, right? He’s a hero! Also, total eye-candy. Kiss, kiss.
Daniel had said the words and hit the send button before Noémi could stop him.
‘Bloody hell, Daniel. You absolute rat bag.’ She gave him an outraged poke before typing quickly.
Book Girl:
SO sorry! That was a friend interfering. He wasn’t meant to be looking at my screen. I promise I don’t usually let anyone see our messages.
Fantasy Man:
No worries. Your friend sounds like a laugh. A heroic, tasty neighbour, hey? Perhaps you should give him more of a chance.
Book Girl:
He did mention the possibility of us doing something together. But you know. Limiting myself to a Fantasy Man is so much easier! Wouldn’t want to cheat on you. (Ha ha.) ;)
Fantasy Man:
You do know that Fantasy Man and Book Girl are never allowed to meet, right?! I’m a big fan of our chats, but please don’t let me hold you back from any actual-life stuff. You deserve to live. I mean really, properly grab hold of life. (Embrace your inner Nancy, pirate of the Amazons.)
If you wanted to stop talking to me so that you can move on, I’d get it. Maybe we should both dare to do something different?
Noémi gulped down a wave of sadness. Was she about to be dumped by her fantasy, online, completely unofficial, and outrageously unconfirmed love interest? She held her breath while the dots on her screen told her he was still typing.
Fantasy Man:
I don’t mind admitting that over our many months of talking like this, I’ve felt strangely as if I’ve fallen for you. (How is that even possible? I know you could be anyone. So could I.) I think I’ve been using our chats as a reason to hide from the possibility of getting close to anyone.
And then recently, I kind of met someone. And it could be nothing. But what if …
What if it’s everything?
‘Oh crap, he’s got a new girlfriend.’ Noémi huffed at the screen.
‘What? He said that? The two-timer.’ Daniel gave one of his exaggerated gasps, clearly finding it amusing. ‘How can we get revenge for this atrocity? He can’t string you along and then trade you in for a living, breathing version, even if we did tell him that you’ve found some fresh eye-candy.’
‘He didn’t use the word girlfriend exactly, but he’s met someone.’
‘Well, screw him,’ Daniel said firmly, cutting them both huge slabs of Christmas cake. ‘What was it you mentioned about that bargain with Shay?’
‘I’m not going on some unspecified adventure, just to get back at a fantasy man I’ve never met.’
‘Agreed,’ said Daniel. ‘Go on the unspecified adventure because our neighbour is ridiculously shaggable. And if I don’t get to have a piece of him, somebody should.’
He handed her a slice of cake, on top of which sat a striped pair of elf’s legs made of icing.
‘Hilarious,’ Noémi muttered, as Daniel broke into a made-up song about men in tights to the tune of Men in Black. ‘And wholly inappropriate.’
Chapter 28
17 days until Christmas
‘Welcome to the day of your first real-life Shay adventure,’ said Shay with far too much zeal, as he whisked his way into Noémi’s shop, a swirl of snow entering with him. ‘I’m so happy that you’re saying yes to life.’
‘My only Shay adventure,’ Noémi clarified, still nervous about putting her trust in this overexcited elf of a man – even if he was currently wearing sensible jeans. She still had no clue what this venture was and had half a mind to leg it like a springbok.
