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He’s told me the truth.

“Well, thank you, Fabien. It means a lot. Truly.”

He nods and then heads back to the entrance to turn off the light. But as the darkness returns, with only a trace of streetlight through the gallery window remaining, he doesn’t move. He just stands by the front doors and looks at me.

The silence presses in on us.

It’s as if Fabien’s teetering on the edge of a decision. Weighing his options. Like all his beliefs are becoming undone.

And the strangest thing is that I know exactly what he’s feeling.

29

JOLIE

We’re lying in bed, still not touching.

Still so many unspoken words in the chasm between us.

Tonight has been so tiring and hard and yet there’s also been an unspoken promise. A promise that, a few days ago, would’ve seemed impossible.

He showed me his art gallery. He showed me his refuge.

And now it’s dark and quiet in our shared bedroom. I can tell he’s still awake by the sound of his uneven breathing.

I’m the first one to dare break the silence.

“What are you going to do after this task? After this week?”

Fabien’s breath slows. He thinks about my question for a long minute.

“I’ll be made a member of the Castaways.”

The safest answer.

I can’t see him in the darkness, but his presence is overwhelming.

“That’s all you’ve ever wanted, right?”

“Yes,” he replies curtly. “You know that.”

“And what about then?”

“Stop speaking in riddles, Jolie.”

“What about us?”

I hear his mouth open. Something’s about to be said.

I brace myself.

And then the moment passes without a word. That thought he might’ve uttered out loud has been cut off by a guillotine’s blade swinging down between us.

He’s retreated.

“Jolie.”

My name’s a warning shot on his lips, and I know now the walls are back up, and nothing I can do or say will bring them back down. With that one word, I can hear the echoes of the quiet, vengeful rage of a boy who had his heart broken. Everything that passed between us tonight – the art gallery, the tenderness, the near touches – has been shut out, and I am left reminded of what I once did to him.