Page 50

She’s right. The nervous smiles and weird silence between us as we stand there only underscores it.

This is sort of our thing, though. Ari and I have always been better at having a friendship than knowing how to behave within that friendship.

Maybe because Arianna knows a version of me nobody else does.

A stripped-down, broken version.

The version of me who was the prey before I learned how to be the predator.

It’s a part of the past neither of us ever brings up. But it’s never far away, always lurking in the background like a shadow or wraith.

“Uh, hi—oh…okay?”

I’m really not a hugger. But I make exceptions…brief exceptions…for someone like Arianna.

She smiles at me when she pulls back, probably having felt that my body went limp against hers.

I mean, how are you supposed to tell someone you’re done hugging when they still have their arms around you?

“I’m glad we could do this,” she says.

I shrug nonchalantly. “Yeah. Same.”

“It’s just…you know. Tough to match up schedules sometimes.”

I spread my arms. “I’m always around⁠—”

“Bella.”

Shit, didn’t quite sell that too well.

Arianna smiles. “Look, I know you don’t always like to hang out. I mean, I get it, believe me. I know it sometimes brings up weird flashbacks and⁠—”

“No, I’ve never had those,” I say over her, shaking my head dismissively.

Total lie, but you do what you have to if you want to see tomorrow.

Does seeing Ari sometimes shove me right back into that dark hole? Where I lost a part of myself, and broke, and bled, and went through hell to come out the other side as whatever it is I am now?

Yeah.

Other times, seeing her makes me angry. Not because of anything she did, but because our shared trauma fucked us up in such different ways.

Ari came out nearly as bloodied and scared as I did, but not quite. She's no social butterfly, but she’s got her circle of friends consisting of Galina, Yelena, Lucia, and Wren.

And me?

Well, maybe I did come out more bloodied and scared than I like to think.

Ari clears her throat, obviously picking up that it’s time to change the subject. She glances past me, and her brows shoot up.

“Wow, Bella, this place…” She grins as her gaze slips back to mine. “Wait, so no one even knows about it?”

“Nope,” I shrug. “So you’re sworn to secrecy.”

She laughs sightly and nods. “First rule of Fight Club.”

“Bingo.”