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I close my eyes. I hate how much that thank-you sounds a lot like goodbye.

I pretend I didn’t hear him, and instead peel myself off him, despite my body wanting to stay where I am indefinitely and gather my clothes from the floor.

We get dressed in silence as the floor rumbles. “It’s going to start again,” he says, stating the obvious.

I see that, I think to myself, unable to say anything.

“Before you go, I want you to have this.” His iPod. I don’t accept when he holds it out for me to grab. “Please, it’s important you have it.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not taking it. I’m not leaving you. Let me turn to pixelated dust with you, for all I care.”

The floor beneath us cracks in half and the dial-up noise from when my journey into the computer began sounds. Fighting for my life to stand my ground—in every way possible—I don’t budge, not until he plants the iPod in my hand, leaving his squeezed firmly over the top of mine. “Lia, you have to. That’s how the sacrifice works.”

“Sacrifice?”

Rennix’s face pales just as a burst of excitement flashes upon his face. His mouth is moving a mile a minute, but I can’t hear a thing.

“What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean? I just told you.”

“No, you didn’t. I saw your mouth move, but I didn’t hear anything.”

I witness all the optimism he had radiating from him disappear. The pixels are overtaking him now. He’s glitching. He doesn’t seem to notice or care. I’m only able to make out every other word he’s saying at this point as he guides me to the exit. I fight it. Digging my feet into the uneven ground. Stomping every step of the way. It’s not until we get to the door that I’m able to hear him better. “Don’t lose this,” he says, referring to the iPod now in my possession. “These are the songs that make me think of you. I hope when you listen to them you think of me too.” He closes the space between us, unwrapping one of the earbuds to put it in place. For a second I think he’s going to play music with the way he’s spinning the click wheel, but I realize when his mouth presses against the same ear, he has something to say that he doesn’t want whatever is in charge to hear. Voice barely even a whisper, now competing with the dial-up that is on a level one hundred, I hear him say, “Go to the storage closet, it’ll be there.”

Rennix kisses me, but this time it feels different. And the longer our mouths are intertwined, the more the pixels trying to overtake him appear to win. What’s left of him swirls in front of me, creating a whirlwind so strong I’m pushed against the door with such force that before I know it, I’m right back where I started. Back in Memoria Games, staring at the world’s most cursed computer.

And just as I anticipated—and feared—I miss Rennix already.

The momentary bliss I felt is gone.

I didn’t get to wish him…

“Happy Birthday.”

Wait. Is that Rennix?

I don’t see him, but I hear him as he repeatedly sounds in my ear, telling me it’ll be okay.

I close my eyes for a second, relieved, wishing him a happy birthday also, until it dawns on me that I can hear him, but as I open my eyes I can’t see him anywhere. “Umm, Ren, where are you?”

“With you.”

“With me where? All I see is, well, not you, that’s for sure.”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“That makes no fucking sense. Of course I have to.”

Okay, what in the motherfuck is happening right now? I hear him but I don’t see him. All I see is…

What the fuck is that tapping my hand?

It feels so bumpy…and in desperate need of lotion. It almost feels like a…fucking lizard.

My suspicions are sadly correct when I see the fucking bearded dragon from whatever that was.

Bile teases my throat. “Oh my god, did you get reincarnated as a lizard?” I’m going to be sick.