Page 31

“Snap out of what?”

I yelp when I hear his voice. I spin around and press against the railing, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

I need space to breathe. With him near me, I can’t think.

He’s standing in the shadows, the scarlet hue of his eyes glowing in the dark. His feet thud against the deck, revealing himself in the low light of the stars.

Damn, he looks good.

However he trimmed his beard, whatever he did, goddamn, it looks amazing. Before, his beard was thick and unruly. Now? I want to run my fingers through it.

Why? Fucking why do I want to touch him like that?

“Just talking to myself,” I finally find my voice after staring at him too long.

“You must be cold,” his deep voice practically rumbles through the night, and the vibrations cause me to gasp.

I rub my hands up and down my arms. “I’m fine.”

“Nonsense.” He steps closer, the scent of him drugging me, and I sway.

He smells sophisticated. Not like cologne or deodorant. Maybe a rich aftershave? It’s subtle. An earthy citrus with a hint of warm vanilla and rum spice.

The closer he gets, the more intense the smell becomes. My nails dig into the wood, anchoring me so I don’t fall to my knees.

Alaska isn’t helping the situation by being shirtless either. His sweatpants are slung low on his hips, showing that damn V that I shouldn’t be drooling over, yet I can’t tear my eyes away. His cock lies against his thigh, the bulge prominent, the crown noticeable, and my mouth actually waters for a taste.

I’ve never sucked another man’s cock before. I’ve never thought about it. I wouldn’t know the first thing to do. What control does this cowboy have over me that’s making me lose control of my senses?

He’s confusing me. He scares me.

He intrigues me.

I want to run as far away as possible, yet I never want to leave.

“Here. I saw you were out here.” He lifts a thick black coat with a fleece collar. “Come on. I can’t have my guest cold.” He has tossed his hair into a messy bun with a few pieces framing his sculpted jaw and round cheeks.

Someone needs to get me out of here. I know I’d fight them on it though.

I fight not to smile, then turn around, dipping one arm through a sleeve, then the other. The jacket is huge on me. I’m not a small person. I’m six feet two inches tall. Not muscular like Alaska, but I’m not ashamed of my body either. Alaska? He has to be close to six-foot-eight. I have to crane my head up to look at him.

The sleeves cover my hands by a few inches, and the jacket hangs to my mid-thigh. I’ve never felt small before. Being wrapped up in Alaska, I don’t seem to mind.

Before turning around, I bury my nose in the collar and inhale, embedding his scent in my memory.

He reminds me of what home is supposed to feel like. Warm, cozy, and safe.

All these new feelings are scaring the hell out of me. I don’t know what to do with them. If I leave this ranch, will I be attracted to other men? Is it just Alaska? The thought of leaving is daunting and leaves a horrible twist in my gut, like someone yanked the air from my lungs and left me to suffer.

“Did you know that the largest snowflake ever recorded was fifteen inches wide and eight inches thick? It happened in 1887, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.” Fuck, there I go again.

I won’t have to worry about these feelings for Alaska since I’m going to ruin whatever this is with random facts. I only spew them when I get nervous, and he makes me more nervous than I have ever been. Even when I first flew a plane, I wasn’t this bad.

“That so?” he says, taking the spot next to me.

He’s so close. He’s right there.

The muscles in his bicep are ropes. They flex when he leans against the rail. I take in every part of him and do my best to be sly, so he doesn’t notice. His hands tighten around the railing, his fingers long and thick, his palm wide.