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The voices echoed in my head now, every moment was attached to its last remnant. The only thing that pulled me out of this hell, that let me breathe a little, was the hand extended by a red-haired girl. But she was no longer there. My lungs were now too weak to swim in her ocean. As a sandstorm erased the image of the girl offering me strawberries, I wanted to catch her.

To beg her not to leave.

“How?” The clone came to my side, stroking my shoulders.

“Are you okay, master?”

“How?” I repeated. I lifted my head slightly and wheeled. Toward the drawings of Mina on the walls, toward the clones lying unconscious on the floor, and finally to Mina, who looked at me with compassionate eyes. My face grimaced. I ran my hands through my hair, gripping the roots as if I could pull the thoughts out of my head. “How can I live without her? How?”

Why was it always like this? First, the liquid my family had injected into my body, now Mina… Why? All I ever wanted, all I ever desired, was to be real. It was consciousness, free will; I wanted to live like a real human being. Why was my mind never alone? When would I take control? Never?

Without me, your existence has no meaning.

“No. No. Get out.” I tugged at my hair. “I beg you, get out. Get out of my system. I beg you, please. I want to forget. You… you…”

You need me, you live for me.

“Live for you…?”

Live for me, little doll. Endure a bit longer.

“Master…”

Amber eyes were gazing at me lovingly, but my hands shook at the realization.

Being addicted to something was a disaster. Not being able to live without her, having every corner of your mind torn apart by someone else’s hands, was a never-ending nightmare.

And the worse thing, I was too late to awaken to it.

“What did you do to me?” The helplessness was gone in my tone, replaced by agony. “My mind… my heart… give them back! Give myself back! If you’ll leave me, at least go alone, don’t take me with you!”

I grew angrier as the clone’s face contorted in shock.

“What’s it? You’re surprised? How dare you act like you know nothing? You left me! If you were going to left me in the end, why did you smile at me like that? Why? Why offer me the light if you were to bury me in the dark? How dare you! Where are you now? What happened to your promises? Answer me!”

“Maste—”

“Right! You were my master! I was ready to do anything for you! All I did was love you, but you wouldn’t even allow that. I was really that unbearable to you? But why? Just tell me what I did wrong! Why didn’t you love me? Why don’t you come back to me? Let me keep the promises I made to you. Let me do things right this time. I beg you, just come back! I’ll do anything! Anything! My soul, my heart, I already gave you everything, then why…? Why am I not enough for you? Why…?”

Trying to calm down, I bowed my head.

“If I knew you’d come back to me… I’d even give up immortality. I’ll work on it, I swear. But you… you… fooled me. You pretended to love me. For months, you looked me in the face and planned how you would leave me. How could you do this? This is… cruel, Mina. So cruel.”

I staggered backwards. I wanted to shout to the whole world, “You’re so cruel!” But fear still lingered in me. The idea that I shouldn’t defy Mina, that I should just be a mindless servant, had become so ingrained in me.

I can’t. I need to stay calm. Always. Always. Forever.

I blinked rapidly. I didn’t want to stay there or see anything related to Mina anymore. It was too exhausting; I couldn’t take it anymore. God gave me these arms only for her; now, trembling visibly, they slipped from my command. My mind refused to settle as the ginger girl drew nearer, her scent unraveling me.

I shut my eyes, but this time the clone spoke with that familiar sweet voice poisoned me.

“Stop…” Not understanding what she was saying, I just whispered, taking another step back. “Stop using her voice.”

“Who is she, master?”

“Shut up!”

I shouted and threw myself toward the iron corner where the failed clones were laying. I had added a bathroom here because my hands were always bloody. I pushed the door open, collapsing onto the white floor, but the clone was still chasing me.