Page 12

“Yes, and for the most part, I agreed to keep things quiet, except for you. She wants to do couples counseling. And no, I wasn’t the one who suggested it. You up for that?”

“Whoa, okay that does change things. Damn, I’m proud of her. And of course, I’d be honored.”

A shaky laugh of pure relief slipped out of me. Damn, it was freeing to get this out. “So we’ll tackle the castle business first. She needs to focus all her energy on getting that out of the way. Family reactions can come later.”

“That works for me. One last question for you. Is she all in?” Marcel asked.

“I believe so, Counselor, and if she changes her mind, then the only broken heart would be mine. No risk, no reward, right?”

Sleep didn’t come easily that night. Even wrapped in Pasha’s warmth, with his arm heavy across my waist and the steady rhythm of his breathing grounding me in the present, my mind refused to quiet.

Every time I closed my eyes, pieces of the castle resurfaced. Sonny’s bedroom—his trophy room. The lake. The carousel animals staring back at me with faded eyes.

Memories I’d spent years forcing down clawed their way back to the surface. At some point, exhaustion won. But peace didn’t come with it. The nightmare swallowed me whole. It came for me with perfect clarity.

Autumn

“I don’t really play with dolls much,” I whispered as Sonny handed me a doll that looked exactly like Winter.

She and the other girls were in language classes, and I was forced to spend time with him. He was here on holiday. The weather was warm but not hot, so I rationalized it was close to Easter.

Disappointment flickered across his face, and his brows knitted together. I knew I’d upset him. Instantly there was a rush of fear, and the words formed in Italian.

“Maybe it’s because I’ve never had one like this, though. How do you play with them?”

I bought myself some time—this much I could see by the sound of his laughter.

“Here, we’ll show you.”

He walked over to the corner where X was waiting patiently to take me back downstairs. I hated this room with everything in me. He often painted and fixed broken dolls for the entire time I spent with him. He’d hum along to the classic music on the radio, and I’d stand perfectly still.

By this time, I had mastered the ability to be still as a statue. Sonny had a cruel streak, although sometimes he could be kind. It was confusing and he was hard for me to read. I could tell immediately that X didn’t want to play, but she had no choice.

Her shoulders sagged in humiliation and defeat. He walked to the cabinet and pulled out her doll. She gulped as her eyes landed on the other three. The four on the bottom shelf represented us new girls. Winter, Spring, Summer and me.

The top four were from her time. They were named after flowers. Lily, Violet, Dahlia, and Holly. Sonny told me that one day.

“Do you still think of them and wonder where they are?” he asked X.

Her longing gaze hadn’t gone unnoticed. Resigned to answer, she responded with a yes. She, too, was forced to speak Italian when we were with him.

“Would you like to know?” he taunted.

She shook her head sadly. He gave a soft chuckle and opened another drawer. He pulled out a male doll that looked exactly like him.

“It’s time we show her,” he said.

Nausea churned in my gut. I hated any type of show. Even the word was enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and die. A show always meant pain, either for X or one of the other girls.

Never me. Outside the first day I’d met the Mask, no one had laid a finger on me in anger.

No, instead I was subjected to sitting on Sonny’s lap while he petted my hair and rocked me. I was subjected to bathing and hair combing rituals, along with being dressed up in ridiculous clothing.

And today was no different. I was dressed in a new outfit he’d created. The frilly floral dress felt stiff and coarse against my skin. The shoes pinched my toes and a clear sign I had grown since the last time he’d made me wear them. How long ago was that? Christmas?

“She will soon get her first bloom and when that happens, so will the wedding.”

My drifting thoughts about time quickly dissipated as the reality of what he meant dawned on me. His voice was icy, like his eyes, and I fought back a sob. He’d told me repeatedly that once I became a woman, he was going to marry me.