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A second later the vehicle chirped in the distance. The sound felt oddly comforting.
“Okay.”
He brushed his knuckles against my arm before turning back toward the castle. I watched him disappear before carefully making my way across the property. Every step toward the car was heavier than the one before. The paintings weren’t particularly large. The weight came from somewhere else entirely.
When I reached the SUV, I opened the back hatch and began arranging them carefully. Mine went off to one side. The others demanded my attention. Spring. My fingers lingered on the frame, and tears sprang to my eyes. She had always sat that way, so elegant and graceful. Even despite our hell, she’d somehow looked poised when the cameras were rolling.
A sad smile touched my lips.
Next came Summer. A soft laugh escaped me despite everything. I honestly had no idea how that painting had turned out as well as it had. I’d been crying almost the entire time I’d painted her. And yet somehow I’d captured her and her strength. And underneath was that kindness that she embodied so well.
Then I reached for Winter. My breath caught. The world seemed to stand still. I lifted the frame carefully. The familiar ache returned immediately. Where are you?
All we had of her was these two images. Frozen forever at eleven years old. Curly red hair and pale skin. Eyes that had seen far too much. I closed mine. God, I missed her. Being reunited with Kinsley and Tori had somehow made the ache for Winter stronger.
It fucking hurt. The grief hit so suddenly that my knees threatened to buckle.
The memories took over, and I didn’t notice Pasha returning. His warm, steady hand settled between my shoulder blades. I stared down at Winter’s portrait, gripping it so hard that the corner pierced my palm.
“Once I got the nerve up to ask if I could paint one of X.” My throat tightened and I swallowed past the golf-ball-sized lump.
I wasn’t even sure what possessed me that day, other than even in the brokenness, there was hope. Maybe I wanted to give her something to hold on to. To paint her in whatever craft it was that had caught the Mask’s eye when he decided he wanted her. It had been a rare moment. The Mask had asked me what was wrong.
“Was there another one that you want me to go get?” Pasha asked.
I shook my head and with it the memory of the Mask pulling me in for a hug and dismissing my request. I reached for Pasha.
“No, my lion. It doesn’t exist. The Mask said she wasn’t worth it.”
The minute the words left my mouth, a sharp ache in my chest erupted. It was sudden and brutal, like a vital piece inside me had caved in. My breath caught, a sharp hitch that I couldn’t quite control.
“She was worth it, Pasha.”
The tears came again. Damn, I hated crying, but was too exhausted to control it any more. A torrent of tears flew down my cheeks. Through choked sobs, I spoke again, because the Mask was wrong.
Horribly wrong. She’d mattered. To her family. To her friends. To us. And no one even knew her real name. I let the grief and unfairness of it all out.
“She endured so much so that we wouldn’t have to. She…”
The rest dissolved into an incoherent mess. Strong and capable arms wrapped around me as he waited for the worst of it to pass. Then he guided me away from the back of the SUV.
“Come on.”
I let him lead this time. The exhaustion from the day settled into my bones as he opened the passenger door. Winter’s painting never left my arms. Not even for a second. For some reason I wanted to hold on to her a little longer.
Pasha waited until I was seated before securing the seatbelt around me and closing the door. Neither of us spoke as we pulled away from the castle. I kept my gaze fixed on Winter’s portrait resting in my lap.
Slowly as we put distance between us, I let some of the hurt go. I silently acknowledged to myself that I’d accomplished what I set out to do. I reclaimed a part of myself. Pasha had a haunted look that clung to him, and I pulled my phone out to text Marcel.
BELLA:
Not right now, but touch base with Pasha. He may need an ear.
COUNSELOR:
Of course. I’m so fucking proud of you. As per the agreement, I gave the rest of the guys a heads up and updated them on the latest.
I shifted nervously in my seat. Did the heads up also involve me wanting to buy the property or just that we had left? A small part of me wanted to specifically ask about my brother. How was he actually taking it? Did he even want to be updated, or had they left him out entirely?
