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“Go on.”
“You asked earlier what my definition of a Dom is. I didn’t answer because it was not respectful, nor was it my truth. My defense mechanism was to answer negatively. To point out horrible aspects of fake Doms.”
“And how do you know about that side of things?”
“Listening in on conversations the guys have. I’ve spent years comparing my past treatment to what I envision a dynamic is. Although, I know that isn’t reality.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps to know how you feel. And I don’t expect that you’ll change overnight. Again, part of the beauty here is that we are building a foundation.”
Relief coursed through me.
“I will say, I think you have two of the greatest qualities a Dom should have.”
“Do I?”
“Yes. Communication and listening. You’re excellent at them. Me, not so much,” I said, lowering my head.
It was true. As annoying as his need was—to ensure we were on the same page all the time—I recognized it for its value. There was safety there. Many men were awful at communicating. I was lucky in every way. It would be foolish of me to not acknowledge it.
“Thank you for that. So we agree? We talk things out,” he added. “Before anything happens we check in. As things shift, we do as well. Look at me, please.”
I obeyed the simple request and almost wanted to look away because it was overwhelming. All the admiration and love he had for me shone in his eyes. Another thing I absolutely loved about him. He wore his emotions on his face. You didn’t have to guess.
“That means no shutting down on me when it matters. No disappearing into your head and leaving me guessing where you are. I need you present, every step of the way. Do you think you can do that?”
“I do, Sir.”
“I don’t want to control you, Isabella. This isn’t me lording power over you. I want to fucking earn you every step of the way. I want to prove to you that you can trust me with every single part of you.”
“I want that, too.”
I lowered my gaze once more, my lashes brushing my cheeks. It would take me some time. Of this I was sure but, there wasn’t a single part of me that felt fearful. At least not now. In fact, I felt rather foolish for avoiding it for so long.
I cleared my throat. “If I’m agreeing to this—to you being my Dom—does that make me your sub-in-training.”
Goosebumps erupted across my arms, and my palms tightened where they rested across my thighs.
“It does. And for the record here, are you okay with that?”
“Yes, Sir,” I whimpered.
“Awesome. Now, pretty princess, I’m going to ask you again what your end goal for this evening was?”
“To have you in a puddle at my feet. Somehow, I feel like it’s going to be the opposite,” I answered, both respectfully and honestly. “But, I do want to please you.”
“Such a good girl. But I want to be clear with you. Now is as good a time as any. I will train you in every way. I will question you, I will discipline you. I’ll tear you apart and put your back together time and again. You will thank me for it too, every single time.”
My eyes flared, but I held back the need to become defensive because, truthfully, every word he spoke unleashed a torrent of need deep inside me. This was what I wanted. A huge part of me understood that he was testing me. If I walked away from him right then, he would let me.
Would he degrade me? He hadn’t mentioned that one.
The thought of that alone confused the hell out of me. Kinsley shared with me that Nik often did with her. She said it was different, reverent in ways that hadn’t made sense at the time. Claimed he never took it too far. I’d been too horrified to ask questions.
But now the idea of it turned me on. Like a desperate whore, I wanted to know more. I guess that just proved there were levels to this whole thing. Which made sense. No two dynamics were identical. Tori said that many times.
“One thing I won’t tolerate, though, is disrespect. Don’t get me wrong, I know your bratty little mouth is going to get you into trouble and you won’t be able to resist, but there will always be consequences. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
