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I took a deep breath and shoved those thoughts away. I turned. Maybe general conversation with Sebastian would help. He grunted as our eyes met.
On second thought.
His expression was the bleakest I’d ever seen it. He broke the silence.
“You having a rough day, too?” he asked.
“Something like that. How’d you know?”
“Because, Dancer, you look like I feel. Like shit.”
I laughed. It sounded hollow. “Thank you for noticing.”
He took a long swig of his drink, then faced me. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really. What about you? I’m actually surprised you’re sitting out here instead of in the office. Appearances and all.”
“Staff knows what today means to me. It’s the anniversary of Vanya’s remains returning home.”
I hummed in acknowledgment. Now this morning made sense. I’d bolted the minute Isabella launched herself at him over breakfast. Kinsley had pre-warned me last week that it was coming. I’d just forgotten in the mess of everything else.
“Yeah, this year, this lucky bastard gets to deal with it alone. And for some reason, it’s making it that much fucking harder to process.”
“I’m sorry, Brother. I wished I knew her enough to commiserate with you. But here’s to being alone.” I toasted him.
“I’d lie and say that alone is how I like it, but that’d be a bald-faced lie and we don’t do that with family.”
“No, we don’t.”
Yes, we fucking do. More and more, it seemed.
“At least I have… well, we have…this.” He gestured around the club with the glass in his hand.
He tossed it back and slammed it down on the bar top, and Jonathan immediately poured him another. A long, slow breath whistled past his lips, deflating his entire posture. He ran a hand through his hair, making it that much more crazed looking.
“I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Losing your soulmate sucks. When you find yours, never let ’em go.”
“That’s right, you are a firm believer that you only get one in this life.”
“Exactly. One. My words of wisdom, not that you fucking asked for it, are simple. You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be, wise one.”
“Fuck you. But seriously, you gotta fight for them. Until your last dying breath, if needs be.”
Seemed a bit dramatic, especially from the normally put together man. But this was Vanya, after all. She must have been a hell of a girl. Why hadn’t she ever come home? I let my mind drift.
“Maybe if I would have fought harder. Who knows, maybe I’d have a mini me or a mini her to love and not be sitting here.”
I nodded, trying not to visualize a mini me or a mini Bella. I stared down into my whiskey. The quiet stretched for a while. Both of us sitting in quiet contemplation of our lives.
His future had been stolen from him. Mine was sitting at home—wanting nothing to do with me.
“You’re right, I didn’t fucking ask,” I answered, smirking. “I appreciate it, though. Can I ask you something about soulmates?”
“I’m an open book tonight. Ask away.”
“What do you do when you find them and they don’t want you? Or they change their mind?”
