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Marcus had gone back and picked me up what I wanted. That somehow made it worse. Another time, I was scrolling through pictures on my phone. I came across one of Phineas the day we picked him out at the shelter. I locked myself in the studio bathroom because I was suddenly overwhelmed by how much I loved him.

The worst one, though, was the night Declan talked me into watching a movie with him. It wasn’t even movie night. I thought I was safe. I ended up sobbing over a made-up cotton candy elephant fading away into absolute nothingness.

It was humiliating. I wasn’t sure what was worse—the snotty nose mess Tori walked in on or that her six-and-a-half-year-old son was comforting me. It was a domino effect for sure. Because that turned into her “discussing her concerns” with Marcel.

He was the hardest to avoid, and it wasn’t like he didn’t sense it, too. After I canceled three sessions, he cornered me in the library. I may or may not have just gotten bent like a pretzel. And when Pasha returned with my cheese toastie…yeah, not my finest moment.

I did what I do best. Defect, shift, reprioritize. Should I have just opened up? Probably. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that I’d eventually bring up the pregnancy termination for counseling, but my trauma-filled past gave me plenty to work with.

Again, not my finest moment, but I was doing the best I could.

Before I could spiral any farther, my bedroom door flew open hard enough to bounce off the wall. I jumped. A moment later, Kinsley swept into the room with full dramatics. Tori trailed after her.

“Young lady, where have you been? Not at breakfast, I can tell you that. And you hardly ate anything last night. We’ve come to take you out.”

Credit where credit was due. She started strong—tried to sound stern—it came out sweet. Epic fail.

“See, this is why I do the talking,” Tori huffed. “Young lady, you’ve missed the most important meal of the day. Again. This is unacceptable. We’re taking you to Holborn’s, right now,” she added.

Her gaze lingered a little too long on my stomach for my liking. A tiny furrow appeared between her brows. It vanished almost instantly. But I caught it. Damn it all to hell. Her mum-radar was working overtime.

“I can’t. I have an appointment. A custom tattoo. The client is housebound, so Pasha is going to go with me,” I lied, fixing my lipstick.

Before either of them could notice, I tugged my sleeves farther down my hands. The nausea bands had become second nature over the last several weeks. Most days I forgot I was wearing them. Kinsley plopped down on my bed with a sly smile.

“We’re thinking of having a game night tonight. You know, to have a little fun. You in?”

For a moment, I just stared at her. Game night? It wasn’t out of character for her to suggest it. It was practically as commonplace as movie nights. Meanwhile, I was standing here trying not to think about what today’s appointment represented.

The divide between my reality and theirs felt impossibly wide.

“Um, yeah. I’m not sure. I don’t know how long the tattoo will run.”

Kinsley waved her hand excitedly, nearly smacking herself in the face with her phone as she shifted on the bed.

“Oh, come on, Izzy. You promised when you got home you’d try it. I’ll go through every card and make sure they’re not too kinky or intense. Partners only, too. It’ll be perfect because Sebastian is busy tonight and I know you were concerned about him seeing you in that capacity.”

She bounced where she sat. “Oh, and don’t tell Pasha, but I asked Allison to be his date.”

The room went strangely quiet. A cold sensation slid down my spine.

Kinsley beamed proudly. “I thought it’d be good for him.”

I froze. What the hell? Every muscle in my body locked. The image appeared instantly and without permission. Pasha sitting next to Allison on the couch. Him resting his hand on the back of the couch, touching her shoulders, her hair. Him kneeling down between her legs, kissing—

“Allison? The cock-craving whore?” I hissed.

The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Tori’s eyes widened.

Kinsley’s smile vanished. “That’s not very nice. She’s actually amazing.”

“Oh, she’s amazing, huh?”

“Yes. And…and Pasha likes her. Sebastian told me he thinks he’s sweet on her.”

I cocked my head to the side. My stomach hit the floor. “Excuse me? What?”

Kinsley nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, yeah. They’ve been hooking up at the club. But you didn’t hear that from me.”