Page 19

“I won’t,” he says, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“Good.” She lets go, turns to me, and says, “Oat milk, extra shot, and I need something with butter in it or I’m going to collapse on this floor.”

That’s it. That’s the whole interrogation.

I make her usual latte. I place a cardamom bun in front of her, and she tears it in half, rolling her eyes over the first bite.

“Long night?” I ask, unable to keep the joy from my voice.

My best friend and the man I’ve not been able to stop thinking about are together in the same room, and I don’t need to act like a referee. I feel like a sixteen-year-old getting ready for a first date with her childhood crush.

“Guy came in at three with a fork through his hand. Through it. He was trying to get an English muffin out of the toaster.” She sips her coffee. “Car accident at five. Then my trainee cried in the supply closet, which, honestly, same…” She points the second half of her bun at me. “My emergency nursing certification is in six weeks, and I’ve done zero flashcards since Tuesday.”

“You’ll pass.”

“I’ll pass if somebody other than my mother quizzes me between now and then. My mother reads the answer first and then asks the question like it’s a riddle.”

I chuckle and walk around the counter to rest my head on her shoulder and give her a quick hug.

Nikolai folds the paper, finishes his coffee and stands. He’s still careful, but it’s one smooth motion now, not three.

“I have work.” He touches the back of my hand on the counter, sending heat up my arm and straight down to pool between my legs. Seemingly oblivious to the effect he has on me, he says to Tessa, “It was good to meet you.”

“Sure was,” she says, and watches him all the way out the door.

The bell settles. She turns back to me.

“Okay,” she says. “He looks at you like you’re the last bus home.”

“In a good way?” I scrunch up my face while I wait for her to elaborate.

It’s important to me that Tessa likes him, because I like him. A lot. I’ve known him for a couple of weeks, and I already can’t imagine falling asleep without him spooning my back.

“Depends on if you want his bus to stop elsewhere occasionally.” She studies me intently, eyes narrowed.

“Tess!” I giggle anyway. “I don’t. I’m kinda getting used to having him around. My apartment feels empty without him in it, he’s so…”

“Big?” Tessa supplies.

My cheeks burn when I look at her.

“Oh my God,” she says. “I knew it. No one that size would have a small–”

“Stop!” I blurt out. I’ve never shied away from discussing sex, but Nikolai makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, and I didn’t realize until now that I don’t want to share them with anyone else. Not even Tessa. “We haven’t … yet. He’s recovering from surgery.”

She eyes me for a few moments that feel like an eternity while she tries to figure out if she believes me or not. Then she licks sugar off her thumb and shrugs. “Okay. Now, where’s the notebook?”

I don’t pretend not to know which notebook. I take the spiral one out from under the register and slide it across to her.

She turns the pages slowly. The deck oven, new. The deck oven, used. The deck oven, repaired by a man named Sal who comes when he feels like it. My savings at the bottom of the last page, in a box, with the date beside it.

“Mm.” She closes the notebook and faces me across the counter. “Have you asked her yet, V?”

“Not yet.”

“She’s been saying she wants out for two years.”

“I know.”