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Lillian and I both had our phones out, thumbing through calendars looking for days we could spare a few hours, but any day we chose didn’t work. It was an exercise in futility that we’d been going through over and over for weeks.

“How about dinner Wednesday after next?” I suggested.

Lillian shook her head. “We’re still on mandatory OT, I’ll be doing double shifts all month. I’m dead on my feet after a sixteen-hour day.”

“Sunday the fourteenth?”

“No, Logan has a baseball game.”

On and on it went with us, unable to find anything that worked.

“I guess I could come by for a quick visit on Thursday when you get off at eight,” I said glumly. “But I’d need to head right back after, I have an early meeting the next day.”

Lillian set her phone down and peered at the screen, her face serious. My stomach sank.

“I love you, Martin, but I gotta be honest. This really isn’t working out for us, and we both know it. We can’t have a relationship that consists of only text messages and the occasional video call.”

My heart stuttered in my chest, even though I knew she was right. “We just need to try harder. Maybe Maria can attend—.”

She held up her palm.

“No, she’s got her own relationship now and you do not want to be that dad who misses his kid’s games, same as I don’t want to miss any of my kids’ stuff. Face it, we each have three very busy kids, and our lives are stressful enough without us putting extra pressure on ourselves trying to fit our relationship into the tiny little slivers of time we can find. This is crazy making, Martin.”

I nodded sadly. “I want nothing more than for us to go to bed together every night and wake up together every morning,” I said, a catch in my voice.

“I want that too, but my life is not about me, just like your life is not about you. Face it, we live too far away, and things are way too complicated with all these kids. I’m afraid it’s just not our time to be together.”

“Can we still talk? Be friends?”

She blinked rapidly like she was trying not to cry.

“I’ll always love you Martin, but it’s probably best if we make a clean break.”

Lillian

Four weeks later...

“You’re comin’ to LJ’s with us, right Miss Lillian?”

“Not tonight, Jimmy,” I threw the response over my shoulder without even looking at him. “Thanks anyway.”

A shadow blocked out the light as George moved in front of me. The guy was gentle as a kitten but tall and wide like a mountain. His expression was stony.

“You’re coming with us,” he said firmly. “You need to get out. You’ve spent enough time wallowing.”

I blinked at his tone. Usually, I was the one ordering people around while George was watching in amusement.

“I’m not wallowing,” I protested weakly.

I was totally wallowing. For a guy I hadn’t spent a lot of time with, Martin was surprisingly hard to get over. I missed him every minute of every day. I missed texting with him. I missed our video calls. I really missed having sex with him. Most of all, I missed having someone who loved me.

“Good, then you can join us at LJ’s for a beer and some conversation,” Leo said, coming up on my other side and linking his arm with mine.

“I guess I’m going for a drink,” I muttered.

I was half tempted to ditch them once I got to my car, but I knew my friends well enough to know that they’d just show up at my house if I didn’t come with them. We were an odd little group of besties: strong and silent George, grizzled old-timer Leo, young jokester Jimmy, and den mother Lillian, but it worked for us. We had other friends at work of course, but the four of us were more like family.

After calling Luke to let the boys know that I’d be late, I drove the short distance to the bar. I hadn’t been here since the last time I’d snuck in some time with Martin, and just thinking about him made my heart pinch. Would it ever get easier?