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“You’re making me nervous,” she said with an awkward little laugh.

“I don’t have a lot of experience with relationships,” I finally started. “And I know you said you don’t want anything serious right now. I respect that, I really do. But the thing is, well I’m hoping that we can continue to see each other after your place is safe again.”

“Are you proposing a friends with benefits kind of thing?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I’m proposing a boyfriend with benefits kind of thing.”

“I think the benefits are implied when you say boyfriend,” she said. “Although I guess there could be platonic boyfriends, but that seems to defeat the purpose. I mean, unless you’re six. Or ninety-five. Then it’s kind of sweet. But otherwise a boyfriend definitely implies benefits.”

I surged forward and pressed my lips against hers, hard and fast, to stop her nervous chattering.

“You don’t have to agree to anything right now,” I whispered against her lips. “I just wanted to put it out there. Let you know where I stand.”

“Is it okay if I think about it?” she asked. “I want to make sure I’m not making a decision because of a sex haze.”

“We haven’t had sex today,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, about that… last night you said something about ravishing me. I think we should do that. I’ve been looking forward to it all day.”

Mabel

“Joshua wants me to be his girlfriend,” I blurted out as soon as Renee answered her phone.

“Hello Mabel, I’m fine, thanks for asking. How are you?”

I rolled my eyes.

“I’m sorry. Hi Renee, how are you?”

“Curious about this girlfriend thing,” she laughed. “Tell me what’s going on.”

I told my friend about the rat issue and staying with Joshua and us moving our relationship to the next step.

“Your first post-divorce hook-up, I’m so proud.”

“It feels like much more than a hook-up,” I said. “But you and I both have known people who get divorced and glom onto the first person who pays them any attention because they’re so desperate to not be alone.”

“Actually I think it happens because getting divorced is so universally bad for people’s self-esteem that people are really responding to someone thinking they’re attractive enough to sleep with,” Renee responded. “And it definitely sounds like Joshua is not only hot for you, but also likes you.”

“Yeah,” I said. “He seems to like me exactly as I am, but what if I’m not seeing something important?”

“Every relationship doesn’t have to lead to happily ever after, Mabel. If you keep dating him and it doesn’t work out, well then you dust yourself off and move onto the next relationship. Or no relationship. But in the meantime, you enjoy being with someone who gives you lots of orgasms.”

“How do you know he gives me lots of orgasms?” I asked curiously.

“Please, at our age, if we’re not getting sexually satisfied, what’s the point of a relationship? We can support ourselves. We know how to be alone. We’re past childbearing or at least close to being done. And more importantly, I know you and I’ve never heard you this excited about someone before.”

“Well in fairness I haven’t dated anyone since we’ve been friends.”

“You know what I mean. So let’s say you agree to be his girlfriend. What’s the worst that can happen?”

A few weeks later I knew the answer to that question.

After my conversation with Renee I told Joshua that I was okay with us dating exclusively, and we began working through creating a relationship. Esmerelda and I moved back to our own house, but Joshua and I spent almost every night together. Most of the time we hung out at my place which was bigger and had more cooking supplies. Plus it was closer to the vet clinic and there was a great view of the water from the balcony.

It was incredible. Not perfect by any means. Joshua and I were both two very different people, and we’d both grown used to being on our own. But we were having a great time together. We cooked together, read, walked Esmerelda, had Pizza Fridays at Starlight Pi, and when Joshua wasn’t working, he introduced me to all his favorite places in and around Starlight Bay.

We talked about anything and everything, and we had more sex in a few weeks than I’d had in the entirety of my ten year marriage. I’d never felt so beautiful. So desired. So accepted for who I really was. It was a heady feeling.