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“What’s this about? If you’re apologizing for your tardy arrival and disrespect⁠—”

“Stop!” I snapped. My hands had begun to shake. I clasped them behind my back. “Whatever you’ve done to Camden, you will undo immediately.”

“That boy again?” He scoffed. “We have more important things to be focused on.” He started for the door, but I stepped in front of him, making him pull up short.

“What have you done?” I asked, voice monotone.

“Exactly as I said.”

He’d told the committee about Cam’s juvenile record? Probably embellished it. Added all the tiny little teenage misdemeanors together to paint a picture of a man who had no right to skate at the Olympics.

I knew my father was manipulative. I’d learned that. But I’d never truly believed he’d stoop to such a low, dishonorable level.

My vision blurred, my heart pounding in my head and chest. “But I told you what I would do if you hurt him,” I said calmly.

“Forget that man. He is nothing to you!” He spat the words, his hatred so vicious I felt it hit me like a slap, and all my control, all the calm clarity, evaporated.

“He is everything to me!” I yelled, flinging a hand at him. “You don’t get to dictate who I care about! You certainly don’t dictate who gets to compete at the Olympics. How dare you meddle in his career, his life. Meddle in mine, but not his. I’m disgusted by you and your dishonorable behavior.”

“How dare I?” he yelled back. “You insolent, ungrateful, pathetic excuse of a man. I have sacrificed everything for you.”

And what did I have to show for it? A father who despised me. A career apex built on manipulation.

“You speak of dishonorable behavior?” he went on. “You continue to bring dishonor to the Hasegawa name with your obsession with men. You are an embarrassment to me and your mother, were she alive to see you.”

I knew what he thought of me, I’d always known, deep down. Even when I was small, trying to get his attention on the ice when I’d finally managed to do a double axel, just for him. And he’d ignored me, because I’d fallen right after. But I couldn’t have been prepared for hearing him say the words to my face with such bitter hatred in his voice.

But this wasn’t about me. He was turning it around, making this my fault. It wasn’t.

“Undo whatever you have done, Father. Or I will quit right now.” My voice held, steady and direct. “I will walk out that door and I’ll never come back to you, or to ice dance.”

He bared his teeth in a vicious snarl. “Then you are as stupid as I’ve always thought, to throw your talent away for nothing. And what about Miss Ward? Are you going to abandon her?”

“I’ll speak to her. She’ll understand.” I didn’t know that, but nobody could make me skate, and I wasn’t stepping a foot on the ice if Camden wasn’t there too. But doubt crept in. I would be ruining Tamsyn’s chances too.

“I cannot stop the disciplinary panel,” he said. “It’s done. He’s out of the Games. So stop this foolishness. Get back in that room, where you belong, and do what you were fucking born to do.”

His words hit like bullets. He couldn’t stop Cam’s dismissal? How had I ever loved this man? Why did I seek out his attention as though it defined me? Why did anything he say matter to me? Why had I listened to him for so long, why had I allowed him back in my life? Was I crazy?

“I’m not dancing for you. I won’t ever dance for you again. Do you understand my words? Do you even hear me? Do you see me, Father? Do you even know who I am?”

“Keep your voice down.”

I laughed. “I don’t fucking care if the whole building hears. I’m done.”

“No you’re not.”

“No?” I tore off my lanyard and tossed it at his feet. “I am done. I am done with you, and I am done with dance, and I am done with all of this, because if the only way I can compete is with your corruption holding me up, then I don’t deserve to be here at all.”

“Son—”

“You know . . . that’s the first time you’ve called me son in years. It’s funny how you only remember we’re related when it suits you.” My whole body shook now, but my voice still came out steady.

“Alright, calm down, let’s talk about this.” His hands came up, trying to placate me. “There’s no need to overreact.”

“Overreact?” I breathed in. “I should have reacted long before now. I think the only reason I didn’t was because I was so desperate for you to love me, but you aren’t capable. I know that now. I don’t even want your love, twisted as it is.”

The anger came back into his face, cheeks hot and eyes fierce. “I always knew you were a failure.”