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“Of course,” I said, moving to the side.

As soon as I’d closed the door, he reached out and pulled me into a hug.

I relaxed into the safety of his arms for a second before a bittersweet sadness flowed through me. “What’s going on?” I asked as I pulled back.

“I read your letter,” he said.

“Just now?”

He shook his head. “The night you left it, but it’s taken me this long to come down.”

“Okay…” I licked my lips.

He shook his head. “It’s hard to argue with the truth. I have to thank you for being honest with me and with yourself.” He shrugged. “It is what it is, even if it hurts.”

I nodded, staring down at my feet.

“You’re really leaving?” he asked.

I looked up at him. “That’s the plan.”

“Well…” He paused. “Ironically, so am I.”

My eyes widened as my gaze shot up. “What? Where are you going?”

“I’m moving to London.”

My stomach sank. Not sure why the idea of him moving so far away was scary when I wouldn’t even be here. Old habits die hard, I guess. “When did this come about?”

“I accepted a new position within the company. It’s different from the first one I didn’t get. This one is even more money, actually. It’s a great opportunity.”

“Oh my God, Calder.” I patted his arm. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.”

“I figured you would be.”

He explained a little more about the position.

“Will you keep in touch?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “You said you hated yourself,” he added. “Try not to do that, okay? It’s not healthy.” He shook his head. “I certainly don’t hate you, Talia. Just the opposite.” Calder took me into his arms again and held me tight as I tried to keep my emotions at bay. Then he abruptly left.

Peace washed over me, and I felt at least a bit of closure, although my heart still ached. But it was aching for Rafe. I needed to write him a letter, too, just to get my thoughts out. But I felt a bit jumbled after Calder’s news, so that could wait until tomorrow or when I felt more clear-headed.

In the meantime, I desperately needed to see Rafe’s face, so I went online to watch his streaming channel, promising myself it would be the last time I’d stalk his performances.

My heart sank when I realized his most recent video was from over a week ago. The last time I’d checked, he’d been posting every other day.

Had something happened?

Worry bombarded me, and my imagination ran wild. Was he consumed by someone new? Was he sick? Or was I overreacting?

Eventually I went out to do my errands, but I also spent the remainder of the day ruminating. I stopped by the pharmacy, picked up some dry cleaning, and got takeout for later.

About thirty minutes after I’d returned home that evening, there was a knock at the door.

I figured it was Calder, but when I opened, the ground shifted beneath me.

CHAPTER 41