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Earlier today, I’d made a pretty big error, sending the wrong version of a manuscript to my boss, Liz. It was the original version she’d given me to mark up with no changes made, not the one I’d actually edited. If she hadn’t double-checked and had sent it to the proofer like that, it could have been disastrous, potentially affecting which version of the book was sent to print.

I cringed all over again. My job was the only stable thing I had going for me at the moment. If I fucked that up, I’d be left with nothing.

I could feel my heartbeat inside my ears as I approached our front door. I had no idea what to expect when it came to Rafe. I’d tried to call him during my lunch break today, but he never answered. We urgently needed to come up with a plan, to make sure we were both on the same page, even if I didn’t know what that meant.

As I approached his apartment, still feeling a soreness between my legs from last night, I saw that his door was indeed open. I stopped at the doorway and found him sitting at the table, his long hair covering his face.

I knocked lightly.

He turned. He had the same look of empty sorrow in his eyes that he’d had when I left him last night.

“Why didn’t you answer my call today?” Dread filled me as I walked toward him. “It won’t change anything, but it’s not like we can just…never talk about it…”

Rafe shut his eyes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to ghost you. I just wasn’t ready to face it. There’s nothing we could possibly say to each other to make this situation better. I’ve spent the entire day going over and over it.” His voice shook. “We fucked up.”

I took a seat at the table across from him. “I’ve felt like I’m outside of my body today, just going through the motions. It’s been hard. But I deserve to feel that way.”

“The sooner I distance myself from you, the better.” Rafe crossed his arms. “And you should do the same. What happened was neither of our faults, yet both our faults.”

He gave me a hard look. “And it would be real damn nice if I didn’t want to back you up against the wall right now and do it all over again, because that’s how sick I am.” He shook his head. “I’m a bad fucking person, Talia, and I’m so fucking sorry.”

Tears sprung to my eyes. “Calder can never find out. Protecting him is the number-one priority.”

“Yes. I don’t want to hurt him—ever,” Rafe agreed.

Silence filled the air between us, but Rafe was still looking at me. Every nerve ending in my body felt it. Despite everything, there was want in his eyes, a reflection of the lack of control that had gotten us into this situation in the first place. Or was I just imagining that because I still felt weak in his presence? But I knew I had to fight this with every fiber of my being.

It could never happen again.

***

That evening, when Calder walked in the door carrying a bag of my favorite sushi, I felt like if someone pushed me onto the train tracks on my way to work tomorrow, I’d be okay with that.

The guilt had only gotten worse. And yet, I put on my best fake smile and mustered the courage to act as normally as possible as we sat down to dinner.

I’d just dunked my second California roll into some soy sauce when Calder shifted in his seat.

“So…I sort of have some news.”

My stomach dropped, and I was immediately convinced that this had something to do with what I’d done last night.

“I’m not sure how you’re gonna take it, to be honest.”

The wait was killing me. “What is it?”

“I’m almost afraid to say it.”

“Say it!” I nearly yelled.

He wiped his mouth. “My boss told me today that the company is opening a London division.”

I let out a breath—this wasn’t about me. “Okay…”

He exhaled. “He, uh, suggested that I throw my hat in the ring there for basically the same position he has here in the States. It would mean a higher managerial level and much more money.”

My eyes darted around the room. I didn’t know how to react. It was fabulous news for Calder, of course. But potentially devastating and life-changing for me.

“Obviously, this is something we’ll have to discuss,” he added. “You just started your job here, and it would mean you having to quit. But the extra money I’d earn would make up for your loss in salary. Then once you got a new job there, we’d be flying high.” His expression softened. “Still, I know you just moved here, and the idea of moving again is daunting. Nothing is set in stone, but we do need to at least talk about this.”