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I cleared my throat. “Twice.”

“Do you have feelings for him, or was it just sex?”

How the hell do I answer that? Because I did have feelings for Rafe. Would it make the situation better if I admitted that? I doubted it. “I don’t know. I…” I stopped myself, determined not to lie to this man anymore. “Yes, I have feelings, but I don’t fully understand them.”

Calder looked away. “Well, I don’t understand how you could do this to me. How he could do this to me…”

Tears formed in my eyes. “I don’t recognize myself, Calder. I’d tell you I never meant to hurt you, but that sounds so cliché. It’s true, though. This had nothing to do with hurting you.”

He raised his voice. “Oh, I believe it had nothing to do with me. I doubt you were thinking of me at all when he was fucking you.” He winced, as if pained by his own words. He let out a long breath and turned away, staring out the window. “You’re right here next to me, but I don’t know you, Talia. You’re not the woman I thought you were. That’s for damn sure.”

“That’s fair,” I murmured, feeling sick to my stomach.

“I can’t even look at you right now.” His voice shook. “I’ve been so worried about you. I checked your phone for insight, to see if maybe you were texting your mom about being homesick or looking stuff up online that might give me a clue about how to make things better. But I never imagined this.” He covered his face a moment. “It hurts so fucking bad.”

The driver made eye contact with me through the rearview mirror, and I immediately felt his disdain. The guy had no idea what he was in for when he’d accepted this ride request. It was the ride from hell, thanks to me.

Every moment in the back of this car felt worse than the last. It had been easier when Calder was cold. Now that he was showing emotion, I wanted to die. I would never understand how I could’ve done this to him. To us.

Calder went quiet again. It was like being outside of myself, witnessing my biggest nightmare.

The car stopped in front of the house, and the driver gave me one last dirty look as I exited the vehicle.

I had no idea whether Calder would let me stay the night at the apartment, or continue living here at all, for that matter. I needed to be prepared for anything, and I would abide by whatever he wanted. My first instinct was to start packing my things in case I needed to head back to Montana.

Before I could ponder that further, I caught sight of Rafe pacing outside the building. My heart sank. Oh no.

He stopped when he spotted us walking toward him. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?” he shouted at Calder, seeming panicked. “My aunt told me an ambulance took Talia away.” He turned to me, a look of fear in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Trying to warn him silently with my expression, I nodded.

Rafe’s face changed as he looked into my eyes and then Calder’s.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

“I always knew you were a talented artist…” Calder seethed. “But I never realized just how great an actor you are. The way you pretended to care about me when I talked to you, pretended to be invested in my problems, pretended to be a friend. A best friend. What a fucking joke. All the while fucking my girlfriend. You really had me fooled.”

Rafe hung his head. “Calder, man, I’m so—”

“You’re sorry? Don’t you dare say that. Shut the fuck up,” he screamed. “Don’t fucking say anything right now. There’s nothing you can ever say that would make me understand this. I can’t believe I ever thought I could trust you. You’re a piece of shit.”

This was harsher than anything he’d said to me. Maybe mine was to come, and I sort of hoped it did.

Rafe took a deep breath in, and the three of us stood there, lost and dumbfounded on the sidewalk until Calder broke the silence.

“Look after your girl. She might pass out again,” he spewed before stalking into the building, leaving Rafe and me alone.

A brisk evening breeze blew our hair around as Rafe and I stood staring at each other in mutual shame.

“Come here,” he finally said.

I took a few steps toward him, and Rafe took me in his arms. He held me tightly, calming my nerves just a smidge. Enveloped in his warmth, I took a moment to decompress. I was grateful that he’d chosen not to be angry at me about this. I didn’t know what I would do if both of them hated me right now.

“We’ll get through this, all right?” He stepped back. “Tell me what happened.”

“Calder looked at my phone when I was in the shower. He saw our texts.” Tears sprang to my eyes. “When I came out, he was holding the phone and asked me if I was fucking his best friend. That’s the last thing I remember. I passed out. Then I woke up in the ambulance. He and I have been at the emergency room, getting me checked out.”

Rafe took a deep breath. “I hate that he found out...but hiding this from him has been killing me. I know it was fucking you up, too.” He shook his head. “I don’t know, maybe it’s for the best that he knows.”