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Chapter One
ROSIE
“What do I have in common with the last person on earth? We’re both single with zero options.” I groan at my poor attempt at a joke as I put down the wedding magazines I’ve been perusing for the last two hours, trying to help my sister, Sage, plan her wedding.
There’s nothing more eye opening to the reality of being alone than helping your sister figure out her perfect wedding venue and honeymoon. More than ever, I feel like I am going to die alone as a single, broke spinster. And I don’t even have any cats or dogs. Or a lakeside cabin to make being single worth it.
I pick up my phone and open up the dating app to see if I have any promising messages from any handsome men.
“Listen to this, Izzy,” I call out a few minutes later to my friend and roommate as I sit lazily on the couch.
She’s in the kitchen, grabbing us some snacks and drinks, while I laze around, swiping on men who don’t really interest me. But that doesn’t stop me from swiping and hoping.
“You want a laugh?”
“Always.” She heads back into the room, hands full of chips and cookies, and takes a seat next to me. “Make me laugh, Rosie. I’m in need of gut-busting giggles right now.”
I look up from the green velvet throw pillow, sit up properly, grab the salt and vinegar chips in her hand, and grin. “I don’t know if it’s going to be that funny, but I’ll try.” I let out my most dramatic sigh as I look at the messages on the dating app. “There are over one million single men in the world, and none of the good ones seem to be in this town,” I mutter to her, and we both laugh in agreement. “I can’t believe Sage and I moved to Santa Capinari in the hopes of finding husbands. I feel like I’m on an app called Men You Never Want to Marry.”
I giggle, and Izzy throws her head back in laughter.
I think we’re both still in shock as to just how bad our recent dating experiences have been. As I lean back on the plush camel leather couch, I can’t help but think about how lucky I am to be living in this luxurious apartment with Izzy; her best friend, Lucia; and my sister, Sage. Though now that Sage is engaged to Lucia’s brother, Dalton, she is rarely ever here.
“I know Colton has to be on that app then.” She shakes her head, and her long blonde hair falls out of its bun and down her shoulders as she bites down on a chocolate chip cookie. Colton is her cheating ex, and I am glad she is finally rid of him. “Poor women who encounter him.”
“Yep, he sucks,” I agree. “Okay, listen to this crap. I swear I feel like I am closer to riding an elephant to work at Mama’s Kitchen than I am to meeting a good guy.”
“Same, girl.” Izzy moans her sympathy. “What happened to all the good men?”
“They are back in time with the dinosaurs.” I giggle as I scroll to find the message I am seeking to share with her.
“Must be. Poor us! Okay, let me hear.” Her blue eyes are bright with humor as she eagerly waves her hands back and forth.
I love that she’s always so excited for my stories.
“So, Slicky Ricky sent me a message this morning—”
“Slicky Ricky?” She makes an O shape with her mouth, and I let out a low groan. “I guess it’s better than Dicky.”
“Oh, just wait. It gets better. Slicky Ricky sent me a message this morning, saying: Rosie, Rosie, Rosie, why don’t you give me your sweet p—”
“No way. He did not.” Izzy grabs the phone from me and reads the message. “Does he think he’s helping himself get a date with that crap? I swear men do not know how to woo a woman at all.”
“I think he’s not thinking.” I shake my head, shrug, and grab more chips. “I may take a break from the app and try and meet people IRL.” I look down at my screen. “But let me block him first.”
“That still happens these days?” Izzy feigns shock. “Where will you meet these men who do not exist on apps?”
“Funny you ask that …” I pause and give her my best beseeching face. “Want to go to a speed dating event with me later tonight?” I press my hands together as I continue to beg. “I’m going to ask Lucia if she wants to come as well.”
“Speed dating? Um …” Izzy looks thoughtful as she grabs another cookie. “I was going to watch the new episodes of The Marlow Murder Club that just dropped on PBS tonight.”
“Really, Izzy?” I cock my head to the side and narrow my eyes at her.
She gives me her most innocent face and munches softly.
“One, you’re not seventy, so you don’t need to stay home to watch a murder mystery. Two, the show’s not going anywhere. You can watch it tomorrow—unless you meet some amazing guy tonight, and then you might be with him tomorrow night.”
“Yeah, right.” Izzy gives me a look. “I’ve seen some of those guys at speed dating events at Mama’s Kitchen, and they don’t look like the most amazing men in the world.”
