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“The fact of the matter is this, Aryx. You have an incomplete bond, and unless your precious omega magically goes into heat this minute, you both will remain in this limbo until you’ve bitten him. As it stands, you are powerless, vulnerable, and this world will devour you whole.
“Your reputation among us rebels might spare you for a time, but it won’t save you when you face a real threat. Telex are crawling the northern sectors, Nightpulse prowl the darkness waiting for their next feed, and the beasts? Have you encountered those yet, Saren? The deranged and mutated animals that make their homes in the contamination zone? You’ll have to cross through their territory.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Saren shifts uncomfortably. “How come I can still detect your presence?”
“Genetics,” Levi says dryly and continues his proposal, “I will be your guide, protection, and middleman should the time call for it. We’ll go to Hale Valley, find out which direction Salem went, and follow his tracks. Briar Peak is the end goal, so they’ll have to come across some…unsavory folk to get the intel they need. And that comes at a cost. I wonder how pretty Nina is faring? What about innocent Kaya? The skin trade is pretty prominent in—”
“All right!” I yell, getting on my feet and holding Saren’s hand. “You’ve made your point.”
“Excellent.” Levi beams at us. “And for what it’s worth, Saren,” he looks me up and down, “I’ve had better.”
***
There’s nothing to pack or prepare, so we leave the safe house and follow Levi back to his ruined camp. It’s an eye-opener for Saren, seeing as he was clutched to my chest immediately after the telepathic wave took everything out.
He’s unusually quiet, walking a few paces ahead of me instead of beside me. Like him, I’m just as frustrated with our situation. If I’d known that fucking him would have resulted in both of us losing our abilities, I wouldn’t have touched him. There’s no manual for this crap.
Even if both Salem and Nina tried to put one together.
I should have listened to their stories—believed them.
All these years, I suspected the reason I wanted to go back to New Grove was because of my bonded. While I couldn’t remember who it was, I felt the pull. That yearning deep in my stomach never went away, no matter how distracted I was. Between all the movement and experiments with my blood, I thought it’d be enough.
I was an idiot to think that.
It never occurred to me that I was avoiding the inevitable. And now that I’m faced with the harsh reality that I’ve found my bonded, I’m scared shitless about completing it. Distractions get you killed out here, and Saren is the biggest distraction I’ve ever come across.
Talking shit out and having heart-to-hearts has never been in my skillset, but even I can admit that we need to talk.
Soon.
“It’s like being around Matthias all over again,” Saren says while staring off into the trees.
“Who?” I stand on his left, peering down at him. The urge to touch him is strong. It’s like any physical distance might snap those fragile threads we’re weaving.
“My guardian. I told you already.”
Right.
“Feeling powerless?” I offer. It’s what makes the most sense.
But he shakes his head. A few beats pass before he meets my eyes. “I have no control.”
I don’t know what to say, so I keep my mouth shut.
“When they took you away, I had no control. No way to stop it without risking your life. Then I started to witness all the corruption you insisted was happening right under my nose. Matthias had his hooks in me by then, broke me until I stopped trying. I’ve never been in control of my life. My mastery was the one thing that I had that was mine. And now it’s gone.” He shoves the heels of his palms into his eyes and sucks in a harsh breath.
“The worst part is I won’t get it back. We’ll be stuck like this forever, Ryx,” he whispers, voice rough.
Moving in front of him, I gently pull his hands away from his face. “When do you usually go into heat?”
His expression crumbles further. Despair clings to his scent like thick tar. “I haven’t had one. Ever. I can’t.”
A memory trickles in.
